I tried counselling before, last year when I first left the marraige. But we ended up not talking most of the time either because I have very little support, and always had to take my 2 yr old along with me, or because it's just too hard to tell someone the stuff I allowed to be done. The stuff I put up with, and stuck around for. It's embarrassing, and it's horrible to have to say it all outloud and have other people judge you for it. Much easier to just ignore it, and let it fade. So I stopped going.
The counsellor I had, really wasn't much help anyhow. She talked about herself alot, and I felt really uncomfortable with her. I don't know....I don't really know if I can even do it again, because childcare is still an issue, and it's not like I can take my son to hear those things.
He was 15 months old when we left, and when we left the ETF (In USA it's called SWAT) had to be called, because my ex beat me up, took my son hostage and threatened to set the apt on fire with us all inside. My son didn't see his dad for over 6 months after that, and was afraid of everything. He doesn't seem to remember anything of that time now. He is just a reggular little boy. I want him to stay that way, I don't want him tainted like me.
