... what would I do at an actual rollar coaster? NEVER go on them again. I hate them, lol.
Yes, I hate them too ~ or, rather, I hate the extreme ones.
So we can still use the analogy.
If the extreme roller coasters frighten you, and make you feel ill, as they do me, then does that mean that you never go to the fair or theme park again, or does it mean that you avoid anything unpleasant, and try the lesser but more enjoyable rides, like the gentler roller coasters?
Some roller coasters, like some men, are just too rough; while other roller coasters, like other men, are great fun, but more gentle, and less frightening
But seriously, with my bf...Well, I get neasious(sp?) when he kisses me, I hate hugging...It make sme feel unsafe, even though logically I know he won;t hurt me.
It could be a control thing.
Did you feel out of control with your ex?
Have you ensured that since then you have been in total control of your life so that no man could hurt you again?
It can be frightening to let down your guard ~ especially if you have been hurt before.
I feel like I've jumped to high, and I can't get back to the ground. I hate it. I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it.
That's sad, because hugging should be reassuring, not frightening.
I think that if you went for counselling about this they would say don't go too far, too fast.
Consider what you can do without feeling afraid.
Sitting together chatting?
Holding hands?
Arms around shoulders?
A peck on the cheek?
Stroking arms?
A kiss on the lips ~ not French kissing?
And so on.
When you know what you can do without feeling nausea or fear ~ tell your boyfriend and don't go any further until you feel ready. He will have to be patient, but better that than causing upset. You will know when you are ready for the next step.
My bf says he doesn't care, he is patient, understands and gets mad more at my ex than me. He does want me to seek counselling at the church though.
He sounds great.
Personally, based on things that have happened to friends, I'd go with a counsellor who wasn't connected to your church.
I don't know, I suppose that has a lot to do with what I did a little while ago.
I don't know why that happened, but you must have been feeling very stressed.
I am talking about here, because, well there is some degree of anonymity online eh? and in person talking to the pastor well...I don't really want to.
I can certainly understand that.
We are here!
I listen to women talk about their experiences and then convert them into legalese for a living, but that is a cold and numbing experience. It's much different than sharing your own experiences with someone.
Totally different. Personal emotions are nowhere near as involved.
