... That is when you have to deal with it. It isn't a matter of saying that it happened and accepting it and moving on. Your subconscience has a different idea. It is far better to face it on your terms than to let it eat at you. ...
I do agree.
And it can be anything negative that has affected someone in the past & that is still hauinting them. Sometimes it isn't even an obviously serious matter, but it is just something frightening and / or negative that has lodged itself in the brain and needs to be faced ~ with help & support.
I mentioned the idea of acknowledging and 'forgetting' because this was something that I heard in a discussion on the radio recently. I don't think that it would work for me, but, apparently, it does for some people.
I think that something that might help is trying to fathom the person who has done the harm.
It is assumed in society that fathers will protect their daughters and that husbands will protect their wives.
When they do the complete opposite, it is very difficult for society to understand ~ so for the victim to understand it must be well nigh impossible, I should imagine.
However, if we look at the behaviour of strangers, we know, from the news etc, that there are lots of unpleasant people out there. There are people who just seem to have been born nasty, and there are people who come from such unstable homes that it is not surprising that they turn out unpleasant.
These unpleasant or unfortunate children grow up ~ and adults, even husbands and fathers, are just grown-up children ~ and they somehow find partners and have children.
They have never really known how to be decent people, so they are nasty and negative to their wives and children. Sadly the wives and children then have to suffer, because of some aberration when the child was born, or because the child was not loved by its own parents.
Fathers & husbands are just people, and people are not always nice. Letting this ruin ones life is a sad waste. Better, if you can I think, to face the wrongs, acknowledge then, beat them ~ with help ~ and accept that the cruel adult had probably been a bullying child ~ and may even have been bullied himself.
What do you think?
