CrystalHeart:
Your forum name says it all! "CrystalHeart"...very delicate and breaks easy!
Personally, after reading your story, I wouldn't say this man is being cruel necessarily. It sounds as though he has feelings for you but he may think that you are not the one for him. Perhaps he looked at your relationship with his head, rather than his heart, and saw that there was an incompatability issue. Distance and time away can give us clarity in that way.
There are always two sides to every story, and love blinds us to things sometimes. Wishing things were a certain way doesn't make them so.
You say that you fought a lot in the beginning and that fighting had always been an ingredient in your relationship. I married a wonderful woman and was with her for 17 years and we fought a lot in the beginning too. We continued to fight - with less frequency - throughout our marriage. We should have known in the beginning.
Putting a square peg in a round hole is impossible to some people. I know it can be done. If you get a big enough hammer...and smash it hard enough...you can get it in. But neither the peg nor the hole will be the same as they were when you started. All you will have is a bloody mess!
Fighting is normal I suppose. It's the way of chipping off those edges of ourselves that grind on someone else. If a man and a woman live together, this process is bound to happen. Another thing to think of is that a good relationship is very much like ballroom dancing. The man and woman move smoothly across the floor, one leading the other, back and forth. The man is there to present the woman...or to show her off. The woman leans on the man and allows him to take the lead. This is perfect.
Fighting isn't a healthy ingredient in a relationship. Not too frequently anyway. Be happy that you don't have to fight with this man anymore.
I know it's difficult to let someone go that you love. It's very difficult. Actually, I think it's like having someone you love die. Same feelings I would say. But you have to go through all of the pain, and all of the suffering, and in the end, you will be okay.
So, keep your head up and walk away. Don't make it worse by contacting this man and hounding him. Keep your dignity in tact.
Good luck and keep the Kleenex handy!
Marko
