...I do not want to hurt your feelings but I have to be honest. You are acting more like a friend than a lover. She asked you if you minded if she saw this man and you practically said it was ok. You tell us that she has hurt you but I don't think you have told her. She can't read your mind. She should know that her actions hurt you, but if you don't seem to mind and you tell her that you both are taking a break then you have pretty much told her that you are not passionate about her. ...
... I don't think she want's you to be understanding. I think she wants you to tell her she can't do it anymore.
I really do agree with you, Jo, that was why I said:
'Maybe she want to make you jealous, too.
Perhaps she thinks that you cannot really love her, if you don't mind her sleeping with another man.
Maybe she would prefer it if you were less tolerant.
She might want you to say that you love her, but that you cannot consider being there for her if she is sleeping with someone else'
