You have had a very difficult time with this girl and I agree with many of the things that PDM has said. However, I would like to present another point of view on your relationship with this girl. I agree that it can't really go on like this. The reason I say this is that you are sounding like you are getting even more hurt as time goes by. You can only forgive so much and then anger and resentment builds up and turns love sour. I hear the things that you say your girlfriend says and I keep thinking that these are the words of a person who does care for you. I also think you are a gentle person who does not make his wants known very much. You expect this girl to understand that you love her and return that love because she can see you care. On the other hand, you have allowed her to do as she pleases. I do not want to hurt your feelings but I have to be honest. You are acting more like a friend than a lover. She asked you if you minded if she saw this man and you practically said it was ok. You tell us that she has hurt you but I don't think you have told her. She can't read your mind. She should know that her actions hurt you, but if you don't seem to mind and you tell her that you both are taking a break then you have pretty much told her that you are not passionate about her. If she is confused about whether she likes you as a friend it is because you are acting like a friend and not a lover. I am giving you the point of view from the other side. You tell us that you are hurt by her actions, but if you told her, she would know you really cared. I think she has given you plenty of hints and opportunities to fight for her and show her your passion and you have just taken the understanding, considerate patient role. I think she wants a boyfriend who shows her he loves her by getting angry and jealous over someone sleeping with his girl. I think she wants a boyfriend who shows her that he wants her to make up her mind who she wants. I think she wants you to tell her to stop hurting you and walking on you because you won't stand for it any more. If she went to this man after you were there it is because she wanted to compare the passion. You don't have to express your feelings every day. You don't seem to have a problem showing them in your actions. Instead of telling us how you feel, you should at least tell her once what is really on your mind. By the way, I don't think she want's you to be understanding. I think she wants you to tell her she can't do it anymore. Try it and see if I am right. What do you have to loose?
