I don't know either of you, but I am guessing that he is acting out of self-preservation. He is very fond of you, but feels that a relationship with you was, & will continue to be, destructive to him, so he feels that he cannot allow you into his heart and life any more.
I think that perhaps you should just accept this and move on.
The only thing that I might suggect is that you write to him and explain how you feel, but that you do understand how he feels too.
Try to put yourself in his shoes.
Tell him, perhaps, that you have been getting help, opinions and advice and that you are getting counselling, because you know that, though you love him, your extreme behaviour towards him is destructive.
You could ask him if there is any chance at all of a future reconciliation, if you could get help and get rid of the negative behaviour.
But threats and hysteria are only going to make things worse, so your communication will have to be reasoned, logical, understanding and appreciative of what he has been saying to you.
Give it time ~ either you will find that you can move on; or you can learn to control your extreme behaviour and maybe, just maybe, you might get back with him.
I think that it might be worth you examining why you behave as you do.
Why do / did you push him to the limits to prove his love for you?
Why did you have a tantrum at the supermarket ~ that's what my kids did when they were toddlers?
Is it that you have a history of rejection, or were you perhaps a 'spoilt' child?
You need to look at yourself and your behaviour objectively rather than subjectively.
I would also recommend that you read some books on the differences between the brains of men & women ~ something like the Venus & Mars books would do, & there are others. They can be very illuminating and can help relationships to work, in my opinion.
