Hi again.... our relationship has been up/down since I last posted. She admitted she still needs to heal from her previous relationship because she rush into this one with me.... and she also says I'm too nice.
I hate to hear that because I only open up to the nice ones... boy was I wrong.
Anyway she's been in so many bad relationships where she was treated like xxxx that she doesn't know how to react to someone treating her good.
So even though my emotions and feelings are wrapped into all this... my hearts all beat up, cracked, and trashed cause of her
what should I do ladies?
uh-oh! this rings bells for me!!! look at the circumstances--she's been in dozens of really xxxxxx relationships where she was treated like, well, xxxx. and now she's telling you that you're too nice. sounds like she's got a lot of growing up to do. i'm sorry if the following sounds harsh or isn't what you want to hear, but this kind of hits home for me, and i'm just trying to help you because i hate seeing people who are in love with someone and all they get back is problems. have you ever heard the expression (popular among pyschologists) that to help a person, they have to want to be helped? well, the same goes for a relationship. in order to be in a good relationship, both parties have to want to be in a good relationship. it doesn't sound like she wants to be in a good relationship. her calling you "too nice" should enrage you. there is no such thing as being too nice--you can be a pushover, but that's not being nice, it's not being able to say "no"--and excuse you for trying to treat her well. your niceness is a
virtue not a vice (sorry, in college, been reading Plato
). i think it's pretty clear that she still has some maturing to do and that she is not ready for a relationship with a real man. she'd rather be treated poorly by a bunch of posers. and let me point something out: she told you that the change in her behavior was due to having too many things to do. you and i know--and she knows too--that that is a dang lie. that makes her a liar. and on top of that, all of this is followed by the couple of days when you couldn't reach her--did she provide an explanation for that? i'm sorry but it sounds like she's neither trustworthy nor reliable. now, i do agree with her that you two need lives outside of your relationship, however, asking for space is something different. four months is not a lot of time--this is the time that you guys should be spending getting to know each other, and yet she's already asking for space? doesn't bode well. it sounds like you've got yourself a woman who is trying to tell you that she's not ready for you. when she says "i've got a lot of healing to do from my last relationship," wat she's really trying to tell you is "i'm not ready for this relationship." take the hint, and let her go figure herself out. life is hard enough, without all of this, right? now, just so you don't think i'm pulling this out of the air, let me tell you what happened to me. i was with a man--i've since decided to be done with him--and at the beginning of our relationship, we got off to a rocky start because he kept telling me, "you're too good for me," or "you're so nice--i don't want to corrupt you." i should have taken the hint and run in the other direction. but instead, i stuck with him. well, it turned out that he was abusive, and cruel. and all that time he was telling me i was "too nice," he was really trying to warn me that he wasn't man enough to treat somebody the way they should be treated. now i wish that whole 6 months never happened, and i'll have to live with the scars he gave me for the rest of my life. i don't want anyone going through what i went through. i know you're older and probably more mature than me, but a relationship is supposed to enrich you, not drain you and make you hate other relationships. this ain't right for you. run. and run far.
good luck to you
