My ex and i recently broke up less than a month ago. before then, we went out for almost 2 years. we were almost the perfect couple in a lot of ppl's eyes. ppl would constantly joke about attending our future wedding... even though we're both 19 at the moment. I actually broke up with him for many reasons. For the past 1/2 year, i've noticed a change in our relationship. we've been talking less, and he's constantly out with his friends. sometimes they'd go out for the entire day and night... and he wouldn't even tell me. i was fine with it at first, but things only got worse. even when we talk, we wouldn't know what to say to each other for a while. there would be those little uncomfortable moments of silence. he'd constantly still tell me that he loves me though.
After our breakup, we both decided to be friends, since neither of us wanted to lose touch completely. we both agreed that we still had feelings for each other, but the relationship just wasn't working out. sometimes, we'd talk on the phone for hours at night and fall asleep till morning only to realise that we forgot to hang up. it's strange that the words come more naturaly AFTER we've broken up.. and not during the relationship. He even told me that now that we're friends, he values our friendship and even said he'll consider me as his best friend. But friendship, i know, is difficult especially if we both still have feelings for each other. I've thought about the option of getting back together, but it seems unlikely that we could make it work. we've been on and off before, and many times its caused by the same problems despite what we said about fixing them.
Just 3 days ago, I watched my uncle die in front of me from Cancer. I'm in Canada taking care of my aunt and her 4 yr old daughter while my home is in the States. The atmosphere is killing me, along with my immense sense of homesickness. I'd be staying at least another 1/2 month to make sure everything is settled and help as much as I can. Its just so much pressure having everything happen all at the same time. I'm so used to having my bf being there for me when I needed someone to talk to. These days, he's been too busy with a new girl. Yesterday I told him online the images of my uncle huanting me along with the pressure of making sure my little cousin is taken care of and out of my aunt's way temporarily and my feeling of homesickness. He tried to comfort me... only to be cut off with the words that he had plans later on that day so he couldn't talk long. I then asked what his plans are, only to discover that it's going to the movies and dinner with his friend's sister. I'm heartbroken though I know I shouldn't be. I can't sleep at night.. constantly thinking about all that's been going on. Someone help me... sigh.
