Okay...
First off, I will not be worrying too much about grammer on this one because it's just too big. I'll just bang away and get it out.
I was married for 17 years to a great woman. We had two children and achieved a nice, comfortable middle class income in one of the most desirable areas of Canada. We were in our early 40's when things went wrong.
Susan and I were most likely a mis-match from the start. Our sex life was never great from the beginning, but I had decided that that may not be such a bad thing. I had several relationships before Susan (one 5 years long) where sex was always amazing. I decided that sex may not be that important considering that all relationships prior to Susan had ended in failure. I rationalized that sex wasn't the most important ingredient in keepinf two people together.
Susan and I married...started a life together...had children and lived a pretty nornal life.
Susan and I had our ups and downs like everyone else I suppose. We had times of great closeness and times when we couldn't stand one another. Pretty much standard I think.
We had three occassions where Susan wanted to split. I kept things together - or convinced her to - for the kids. I thought it best to keep our family together. And with time, things always worked out.
In 2007 we were living in an amazing area in the Okanagan in British Columbia. We had our dream house, nestled in among the vineyards surrounded by mountains. It was perfect. And...we were probably the happiest we had ever been.
Then things went wrong.
Susan befriended our son's teacher, Collette. Our families began to socialize quite a bit. We usually had food and wine as a component of our gatherings and things were usually quite festive. Things were awesome!
Eventually, Collette began to flirt with me. This was totally unexpected by myself, but I was totally taken in by her. Collette was an exceptionally beautiful brunette with big brown eyes and she was perfect in my eyes. She was very intelligent, charasmatic and sexy. I had always admired her, but never thought much beyond that.
Anyway...she began to flirt with me and things escalated over time. We developed very strong feelings for one another. Yet...we never persued things beyond an emotional affair.
Eventually, Susan found out about this and decided to pull the plug on our marriage. I can't blame her for her decision. SHe was right to do this because I betrayed her. I betrayed our family. Her decision was just.
That's what it looks like from the outside anyway. But that was three years ago, and I have had a long time to consider things and try to put things into perspective.
Susan and I were not truely happy with our relationship ever. That's the truth. We decided to take the high road and stay together for the kids and for our lifstyle. We managed to keep it together for 17 years.
After our divorce, we both moved back to Ontario. It isn't anywhere as nice as BC. It's pretty gross actually. But...here we are.
Since our split, I have lost my mom and brother (my last remaining family). I have folded my business and now work for someone else. I have lost my house and am claiming bankruptcy.
Life has gone in the toilette.
After Susan and I split, I went on a wild sexual rampage and had a really great time. I met a lot of amazing women and learned about what I had been missing in a 17 year marriage without passion and sexual closeness. It's a huge thing to live without.
I have suffered and my kids have suffered a lot too. Susan has as well. I wouldn't do it again if I had the chance, but it happened and there's not too much I can do to change that.
Life will get better I believe. But, things can change so fast. Think about what you have and if you want to lose it.
