Jilly - yes marriage counseling really works, as long as you have a good counselor. My first husband and I went to a counselor. The truth of the matter was that we truly loved each other but had issues that we could not reconcile.
I realized at about the fifth session that my counselor was counseling for divorce and was preparing me for this eventual end to my marriage.
I continued on with counseling for about a year after I got divorced. This counseling helped me more than anything in my life. We live with so many shadows of other times and other people that sometimes we loose who we really are in those shadows. Counseling helped me realize that I wanted to find who I am. You have to remember that I spent the first 18 years of my life trying to please my parents. I spent the second 18 years of my life trying to please my spouse. I was not successful at either one. Things got so much better after I decided to please myself.
