Yes. I understand what each of you are saying, SDG and PDM.
Choosing to be a loner is different than having to be, though. And it doesn't have to mean no contact.
At heart, I will always be an introvert. So special friendships are probably the most important thing to me second only to my own growth and caring for myself. The outward friendliness I have learned, and it has become almost second nature - as it expresses what I believe about being a good neighbor and being kind.
Yet, if a person knew me really, really well, they would know that the very essential parts of my heart are rarely - if ever - shared.
With my soul mate, we know each other really well, and yet it is kind of like the veneer that we put over all that we see. We don't really see everything. We kind of connect the dots and associate patterns as "the reality." We impose our own impressions on the seeming chaos beneath. Sorry about the venture into existentialism. Yet, it does kind of apply. We all have private places in our hearts and souls. And that is not a bad thing.
Loving should not mean giving up the essential part of who you are. And if someone asks that of you, then IMO, they don't really love you, or they don't really know what love is.
