Ok, so I gave the letter and it had no effect. I was expecting that, but Blaze didn't take it too well.
So all was ok until Blaze decided that he couldn't take it anymore. I had written a letter to his mom to clarify some things from my side, but he didn't come last Friday for me to give it to him to give to his mom.
Yesterday I had a birthday party (today's my b-day) at the beach and left my cellphone at my aunt's flat. When I got back, there were 15 missed calls and one message on my phone. I messaged Blaze back as to say that we were at the beach and I couldn't talk right then. He got so upset with me.
Then I re-registered myself on Facebook now the other day. I have friends from overseas that I've never met but have seen pics of, chatted to and seen on webcam. My one friend, Scott, and I have known each other going on 4yrs now. Blaze really hates that I talk to people I haven't met. I know there's a danger, but if Scott was a sexual predator he would have asked for sex a long time ago. Scott is like a big brother to me and he cares for me. He was even the first to wish me for my b-day. So what's the big deal? And why the hell is he getting so upset? He can't control my life.
And today... on the day I turn 16... did the worst thing happen...
I got to school and scheduled an appointment with the social worker for 5th period. When the time came, she had a crisis and I waited 40min for her, leaving me with 10min to talk to her. I didn't mind of course. Other people need her more than I do. But when I went in, she said Blaze's mom dropped off a bag for me. It was a brown paper bag taped closed. In it... was everything that I had ever given him as a gift. All the poems and photos I gave him were ripped up... He returned the 18k silver cartouche I brought for him from Egypt... And all the gifts put together, I'm sure, is worth more than 500 South African rands... that's a lot of cash for a teenager.
I can't believe he did this to me! On my birthday! He only wished me late tonight. It's so... I don't know. I don't know how I feel about him anymore. I don't know how to deal with this. Even my social worker was shocked, and it take a lot to shock her. Now how do you think I feel...
Help me... please...
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On a positive note, I think I may be taking an interest in someone else. His name is Jamie. He'll be 16 in the next three months. We liked each other since last year. During November on camp, we slept in the same bed one night. He kissed me. He comforted me when I felt depressed.
And... I really like him, A LOT. We've thought about getting together, but it's too soon. I might invite him to go to my Valentine's Day dance with me. But I don't have the nerve.
You know, he was the first to send me a SMS for my b-day. Isn't he sweet. Everytime I look at him, my heart races and I can't stop thinking about him.
Perhaps he and I... I don't know... some day...
