Choosing between Two Guys

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi. Im a girl in high school and i love 2 guys. Ive been through pain, and hurt, and ive been through love. I know what it feels like to be treated like a princess, and treated like a beggar. i know that i am in love, the problem is it is with two guys. my feelings for them are so strong. one i never can see because he is constantly in different places, the other is at my school but he is always working. one loves me in return, we feel the same way for each other, but he roams from place to place that i never can see him. and they other just calls me from time to time, but he was in an arts class with me and i sat with him and i fell in love.

i do not know what to do. here are two great men, whom i both love, and the reality of it is that i may only choose one. and its so hard, because i will get my heart broken either way, or i could be making the wrong decision and lose the greatest guy ever. now i know that there are millions of other guys out there, but i live everyday as if it were my last. if i dont seize the moment, then i will never know if i will love again. please help me in my decision. i dont want to screw up. thank you Advice
If you love both guys - you realize that both guys deserve to have a happy, committed full time partner. Neither guy deserves to be played with like a toy, and only get half a girl. You also need to realize that you are not the only girl in the world! Everybody has to choose in life - and to be honest, the decision you make now might not be the last one you make, no matter how important it feels right now. Few people end up with their high school lover.

So make out a chart, and decide on which guy matches your interests the best. Then let the other guy loose so he can find a new, wonderful girl and stop getting only half-a-girl. Then make sure you dedicate 100% to whichever guy you chose.

There is not just one soulmate in life. In fact, we change over the years and someone who was perfect for you at 13 is probably not going to be perfect for you at age 33. The best relationships are the ones in which people are tolerant of faults, who grow and change and realize life is NOT perfect. So don't obsess about perfection. Don't obsess about losing the "one guy". That very mentality - of putting people on pedestals - is going to cause you huge problems in life. You choose the person who seems best suited for now, you give him 100% of your attentions, and you let the other guys find new girls who are 100% attentive to them. To do otherwise - or two string along two guys and only give each guy some of your attention - is treating them poorly. They deserve better than that.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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Think and Choose
How To Decide?
I'm Unfair to Both
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Female

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