That's tough. I almost wonder if she is waiting for you to try and contact her to see if you really care. It might not be that at all because it also sounds like she just really wants space right now. It may mean she has to start seeing other guys, just to see what she wants in a relationship. If you think that you can be friends with her (even though it will be one of the hardest things to do) maybe that is the best route for now. It will give you the chance to be close to her emotionally and prove to her that if you were to get into a relationship again, it wont be all bad and fighting. My thought is that maybe she wants space from the stress of the relationship the two of you had. If was as stressful as you say, then that is a good possibility. Maybe you need space too, maybe you should go out with some other people, not seriously, but just go on dates with. It may make you feel a little better, and help you to see a little clearer as to what you want to do.
What I say, I know, sounds ridiculous. My current boyfriend have gone through similar situations though. Over the summer we broke up for quite some time because I was going to be leaving for Spain and not come home until Christmas, and then leave again after the New Year. I told him I needed space. (right). So we were officially not together, but we hung out everyday like we did when we were together, and overall, nobody could have told the difference. So basically we never broke up. we got back together before I left, and then I came home WAY early because I got too homesick. He got frustrated with me while I was gone because of how stressed I was, and he thought i was taking it out on him intentionally. I didn't mean to, but I felt so hopeless and he was the only one to talk to about it. So he broke up with me before I even came home. Since I have been home things have not been easy, but we both wont give up because we both want to be together in the end.
So the point of that stupid story is this: perhaps you need to be honest with her and yourself. Re-evaluate everything. Not just because this is your first serious relationship. It seems now that the only possible thing good for you is her, but think about everything. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Maybe you could move on and find someone else. I know that even the thought of that causes a thought of sheer terror. (been there, done that). So, my meaning, try and have an honest talk with her, without making her feel like you are pushing your wants on her. Talk to her about how you feel without being pushy, and ask her how she feels. Be understanding, and if you are not what she wants right now, you need to know when to let go. Open, honest conversations have always helped my boyfriend and I fix things because we can be honest with eachother. It might help, but also be prepared to hear something you may not want to.
Hopefully something I said might help you. Good luck.
