Thanks for the replys all of you, and to answer the question about the counseling, yeah I have been seeing one since the break up.
It makes me angry when I think about all the times I was the one trying to fix things and she acted as though she was helpless on the matter. She always was the type to almost never decided things on her own, and never try and go her own way and experiance new things. It always had to be someone deciding things for her, and as much as I hate to say it, I blame her over protective parents for that and feel that thats one of the contributing factors for her anxiety.
A lot of the time I do feel that I'm being treated unfairly, I mean I've never been the type to constantly text other girls, or flirt when other girls are around. I mean, when I think about it, we never usually got into shouting matches whenever I felt that something was up, arguing yes, but never anything worse she just always got extreamly angry at me. And everything was always my fault.... never hers, in her opinion she never did anything wrong, and i hate that.
A few days before she broke up with me, I wrote her a letter, just to try and express how I felt in a different way. It explained how I felt that whenever she was constantly texting I felt less important in her eyes, how whenever other guys were around she seemed to pay more attention to them than me.... and how lately, she didn't seem to do little things that reassured me of our relationship, just stuff like that. She seemed to take it the wrong way and started saying that she wasn't going to text or talk to other guys, or that she would always tell me where she was and what she was doing, and I kept telling her thats not what I want from her. I feel that she keeps thinking thats the way I'm controlling her, I have never told her what to do and when to do it (except for the incident with the phone, I told her then I didn't want her to talk to the guy, and now that I think about it I even asked her and she agreed not to have her phone for that day, but yes I still know what I did was wrong) otherwise I have never told her how to do things, or when to do them. I want her to realize that shes the one with problems as well, but she just seems so sensetive when someone critisizes anything about her that I feel I wouldn't be able to get anywhere with trying to fix things.
Its been a little over two weeks now, and I've been trying my best just to keep busy and not think about any of this stuff but it is hard.... mornings seem to be the roughest on me because I've been having regular dreams about her, about us getting back together and such.... I do still love her, but its just so hard to let go after being emotionally invested in her for almost three years. Meeting new people is probably going to be one of the hardest things for as I am a pretty shy person, but I guess all I can do is try my hardest.
I just want to thank you guys for the advice, it does help somewhat and I appreciate it.
