Parakeet lover
I have suffered from depression ~ it has been really bad at times. I now feel blessed to be very happy with my life. So things can change. Never forget that. They really can change and you can be happy. I am really sorry and concerned that you feel as you do. Help should be available to you. There will probably be counsellors or psychologists available to talk you through this and arrange medication if necessary.
Are you in physical pain or are you talking about mental anguish? I know that mental anguish can be worse, but physical pain can cause mental anguish, so, either way, this is serious and people will care. Do you tell people of your concerns? It sounds as if you bottle them up, so maybe no-one knows how awful you feel ~ and that is why you do not see their concern.
First, remember that things can get better.
Second, see who can help you to get them better.
Suicidal thoughts can be caused by a number of things ~ they can even be the side effect of some medications. Check with your doctor.
My consultant asked me if I had had suicidal thoughts and I answered that they had only been fleeting, because I had believed that I could get better and, having suffered the nightmare of depression, I wanted to go on to enjoy the good times, beyond, rather than ending it in the middle of this black abyss. And I did. I defeated the abyss. It tries to get me occasionally, but I find that I can use techniques, now, that help me to avoid it.
There is another thing that you need to know about suicidal thoughts ~ they are a sign that you are getting better!
Yes, it may sound unlikely, but a psychiatrist friend told me that suicidal thoughts occur as depression starts to improve. It actually makes sense if you think about it. When people are in the depths of depression, they don't care. they don't care enough to think about suicide or anything else very much. I know that I felt that suicide would be senseless, because I felt dead already. As you start to get better, you become more actively distressed by your depression. That is the point where suicide is most likely to happen. So remember, this is likely to be a temporary 'low' as your depression is starting to improve. Take it as a positive, if you can.
I am lucky now to have a very happy life. You can too.
You can defeat it, too ~ and you can have a happy life.
Take care and please get some professional help.
If you can, ask a loved one or friend to support you as you do this.
Please, don't ignore this.
By posting this you have taken the first step.
That is a very positive thing!
Last edited by PDM; 06/05/08 09:03 AM.
