OK i may be doin this backward but here is the message i sent her then the next day she post the above on her FB and she still has not talked to me i did not do anything to her nothing but good and iam starting to think she is truly afraid of it and running from it? i dunno at this point anymore...but here is what i wrote her....
hey i just wanted to let you know that when we were textin a few nights ago it was late and we were sending long text..lol...anyways you said your not ready to get serious. and when i replied to that i was sleep deprived and was feelin woozy from too much cough syrup. : )
anyways i suck at tellin ppl how i feel via text or email etc... i do much better in person. i think what i was tryin to tell you is that....
i do not want to rush things either i was more concerned about buildin our friendship. and yeah i was caught up in the "puppy love" or what ever u want to call it. i have not been in a relationship for about a yr and a half and the first girl i start to talk to is amazing and perfect in my eyes. so i was all excited and giddy about it. And as far as getting serious i cant say if iam ready or not.. if its right ill go with it. but i do know after all my bad relationships and bein screwed over used and cheated on i do put a pretty high wall up to protect myself but with u. it seems like u had an even higher ladder to climb over that wall
but after seein what u did on okc to see if i was a fraud i knew you had a wall up also. after what happened in your last relationship.
Now iam not sure what happened after the night we went out and things were goin great and you posted that "LML..FOR REAL" post i knew thing were goin good. but the holidays get here and when you were gonna hang with me b4 u spent time with ur dad and that did not happen and then on xmas you were... well you were not rejoicing in xmas spirit. and i know with your mom bein gone makes this time of year hard on you. And thats all i know is that it makes it hard i cant sit here and say i understand exacxtly how you feel and i have no right to tell you things like the pain never goes away but it gets easier slowly but surely cause i dont know it does.
But you dont go from posting LML on FB to not even talking to me at all for no reason.
And i may be wrong with this! hell, i may be way off but you know i over analyze things and this has been driving me crazy how you pull a complete 180 but this is what makes the most sense to me.
i think the combination of the holidays and the wall u had up to protect yourself (bein u have not dated anyone after bein used and cheated on ) and the fact that things were goin so good with us but it seemed maybe like they were goin kinda fast. spooked you! it was too good to be true kinda thing....
and if that is the way u feel i understand why u feel the way u may feel but i promise i wont hurt u! I learned sometimes u need to take a chance to get what you want or what your heart desires.
let me be your friend and lets build our friendship. Cause no matter what i want to be your friend you are an amazing person and would love your friendship even if nothing comes of us.
Now again i may be way off something else may be goin on that iam not aware of. But with you suddenly stop talkin to me puts a red flag up...
theres a million things it can be and i've drove myself mad thinkin about what could be goin on.
did i do something wrong?
maybe you want nothing to do with me anymore...
maybe you met another guy that puts a bigger smiler on your face...
But whatever it is i hope the best for you and i want you to know that you can tell me anything its better than silence. even if you want nothing to do with me you can tell me.
Take care sweetie and i hope nothing but the best for you. cause i do care about you.
ciao bella! : )
