RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up serious breakup with girlfriend

Well, yes, it does sound as if there have been some positive times.

However, the police are involved now, so there is nothing you can do at present.

If you do get back together, I really would recommend that you look into counselling.

well i have been told that she is telling people that we are done . So im overwhelmed with sadness and feel guilty . So i dont how to move on or how long i should mourn the lost of my relationship / girlfriend . i dont have no friends here as im new to area and the idea of bars to date again dont appeal to me . i want to move back home and be near my kids .

Pctech68, you are right about mourning ~ many people do not understand that this is what happens when a relationship ends.

However, just because people have said that she has said things, or even if she has said them, doesn't mean that she won't change her mind.

But, you do have to accept that this probably is over ~ and, in view of the tempestuousness of the relationship, that it might even be for the best ~ especially as you have children.

No, you will not yet feel in the mood for finding a new girlfriend ~ or frequenting bars.
Not yet.
But give yourself time. Time heals ~ or, at least, helps.

I think that you do need some warmth in your life now, and that seeing your kids, if you can, would be a good idea ~ for them & you.

Good luck!

i guess i will just stay away and not contact her . its been a challenging couple weeks for me . Maybe , in a few more weeks i can start forcing myself to getout and socialize in the singles scence (yuk). i dont know though

Just give yourself time and devote yourself to your loved-ones for now ~ family and friends.

ok , first of all i dont have any family or friends here in this remote area . i hate where i live but i dont have the money or motivation to move to a nearby area cause i want to leave but cant because i havent meet the requirements my company has for me to retransfer back . i am depressed and hurt to the point i struggle to just do daily things and have even missed work a couple times . i am wanting to get passed this but am so lonely its driving me insane . im not allowed to contact her and she hasnt tried contacting me . i just want to stop the pain , i have no esteem and feel broken . my nearest family is over 16hrs away .i sit at home unless i just have to get out and afraid of seeing her with someone else so i dont go to the only social scene for singles here which is bars instead ive closed myself off

I'm really sorry to hear this. I think that you need to see your family and children.

However, if you really can't, could you phone them more, or send letters or e-mails, etc ~ anything to strengthen the ties and stop you feeling so alone?

Could any of your friends or relatives visit you?

Remember, you can always share you concerns on here!

If you are feeling depressed, then perhaps you should see your doctor, or a counsellor.

At the moment, you are in pain ~ you are grieving ~ but this extreme sorrow will gradually pass.
Time heals ~ or at least it allows you to cope better.

Could you get to know some people where you are living?
Are there clubs, or night-classes, or something?
Have you joined anything that can be joined ~ eg the library?
Try to get out and meet people ~ even if it's only at the shops.
You can't just stay in getting more and more lonely.

I'm not suggesting bars, or the dating scene, but perhaps something life-enhancing, like adult education classes, or sport. Do you swim or play any team games?

I can certainly understand that you may want to 'close off' while you are 'grieving', but don't let it last too long.

Take care!

Well i had my day in court , and was lucky to get probabtion . they through in a no contact order to "protect her " as well which i wish they hadnt . So anyway , i cant reconcile now regardless . the odd thing is i got an email from her yesterday thanking me for sending her stuff to her via mail over two weeks ago . Then she asked that i forward her mail to her physical address and of course included it in the email . if im such a threat why would she do that . I didnt respond of course and didnt do mail fwd . i just right on her mail not at po box **** . I assume she is very aware of the sentence i got . So i fwd. the email to my attorney and basic asked him about the address deal . i havent heard back but i will continue to keep track of her attempts to contact me as it violates my probabtion to have any direct or indirect contact with her unless she has it removed . So i am trying to move on as thats all i can do other than just stay out of trouble .

As you say, you were lucky.

You have learned a lesson from this, and, hopefully, you will be able to move on.

If you do need to contact her then, yes, do it through your and her legal representatives.

Good luck!

Detaching yourself from this relationship you thought you really wanted is difficult, confusing and very depressing. I'm going thru a similar situation eithier I'm crying, finding fault against the other person or myself, then feeling sorry for myself and a whole bunch of other emotions just spinning around. I want to talk to this person so bad. But after some silence and thinking I realize there are issues inside of me that I must deal with first to become more mature, happy with myself before I can really be in a solid relationship. I've been advised to be good to myself first and the rest will follow sometimes quickly, slowly but good things will come back to me in time. Good Luck HOMIE