RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Pregnant at 17

i m 17 years old and i am pregnant. i am not ready 4 a baby but im 5 months in. should i keep my baby, or abort it. i know i will love my child but im just 2 young 4 this kind of responsibility.Any advice would b helpful! and now about the guy. should i break up with him or make him help wit this mess. he hasnt been supportive at all, but i lost my dad in a situation like this, nevr evn met him. i dont want it like that 4 my child.

hey there--

first off, i think you might be a little far along to have an abortion at this point. i'm not sure what the official cut-off is, but fie months seems pretty late.

but it's very responsible of you to consider whether or not you can give your baby the life you'd want him/her to have. if you think that you just can't, then you might consider putting him/her up for adoption.

and i know that this isn't an easy thing, but ultimately, you want what's best for the child. now, if you plan on keeping him/her, then there are lots of programs out there that will help you financially with the cost of having a child.

and i think that you should definitely share some of that responsibility with the father, because even if he hasn't been supportive, it is his child too, and he owes it to you and your baby to at least help you out with child support, if he won't be a man and be there for his child.

and as for whether or not you should break up with him, ultimately that's your decision. what you should think about is this: is it worse to know your father and have him be an irresponsible jerk, or to not know him at all.

you love your baby, so you want only the best things for him, and that includes the best people. and if you think her father isn't going to bring anything to the table, then maybe it's best that he isn't a huge part of her life.

and you can wait to meet a really good man who will treat you and the baby well--even though he isn't the father--as opposed to some half pint who won't even be supportive when you need it the most. i wish you well, and i know you have some hard decisions to make. sorry it has to be so tough.

good luck and keep us posted

I see that you have posted two concerns ~ one about the pregnancy and one about dating ~ quoted below.

Do you think that you should perhaps sort out your thoughts on the baby, and the baby's father, before deciding what to do about the boys in your class?

I think that this might be for the best.


http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=216791#Post216791

Hi, I agree with both the previous posts.
I believe in most places, 20 weeks is the cut off for abortions unless the mother's health is in danger.
Also I believe you should get things figured out before you do anymore dating.
However, I do have some personal experience:
When I was 19, I was in your shoes. I got pregnant and the baby's father did not want anything to do with us. I was definitely not responsible enough or ready to be a parent and didnt want to expose a child to my ignorance. Even though I loved the baby, I knew he would be better prepared for and taken care of with someone else.

I made the devestating decision to place my son for adoption. We did an open adoption and I got to decide who my child's parents would be. No baby could have more love than he did. His parents were very good about sending pictures and updates. Now that he is grown, we have a personal relationship and it is really good. He understands that I didnt give him up because I didn't love him, but that I gave him up because I loved him too much.

Im not saying adoption is the way you should go, only relating my experience. Plenty of 17 year old make great parents. It is a hard hard road, but you can make it, with a good support system. I hope this helps in some small way.

Second on everything already said.

Have you spoken with your mother? Would she help you out if you explained things to her? I know there have been young parents whose parents took on much of the responsibility of raising the baby. I do not know your situation (or hers) and if this is feasible. Though it will be hard emotionally, putting it up for adoption might be the best thing for both you and your unborn child.

Oh my goodness what on earth are you doing making love at 17 years of age. You should have thought about that before being with men.
In addition, be careful of these other boys that like you and make sure they are not just after one thing. Boys do talk.

It is definitely tooo late for abortion, adoption is the other option you have.

There are acually clinics who do abortions that late (whichmakes me want to cry) I know it isn't "legally" a child until it breathes air.. but that is a child to me.

Please, please, please do not have an abortion. It's not fair to the child. If you do not think you can take care of a child, put her up for adoption. There are TONS of couples who can't conceive a child and would give your child a loving home in a heartbeat. It's not fair for you to end the life of an innocent child while there are others who don't even have that option.


I agree with p&p though, do what's in your heart. Some 17 year olds would be able to care for a baby perfectly fine (with a little help from family). but if you think you absolutely can't to it, PLEASE do adoption.


and KoKo, I have friends that lost their virginity at 14 or 15. unfortuantely it happens, though I dont approve of it. It's actually not that uncommon with people in high school... =[

Yes Zookeeper I remember when I was 12, a girl was 13 and pregnant actually. I am not even 30 yet and grew up when making love was already normal in junior high or high school. It is hard because of the peer pressure. Even if parents are good parents, kids do slip because of peer pressure.
I agree with zookeeper also in being against abortion. There are people who would love that child as a miracle since they cannot have their own children.

i wasnt trying to say it in a rude way, but yeah, I'm surpirised some of my friends didnt end up pregnant.

Oh no I did not take you as being rude. Thank you