i m 17 years old and i am pregnant. i am not ready 4 a baby but im 5 months in. should i keep my baby, or abort it. i know i will love my child but im just 2 young 4 this kind of responsibility.Any advice would b helpful! and now about the guy. should i break up with him or make him help wit this mess. he hasnt been supportive at all, but i lost my dad in a situation like this, nevr evn met him. i dont want it like that 4 my child.

hey there--

first off, i think you might be a little far along to have an abortion at this point. i'm not sure what the official cut-off is, but fie months seems pretty late.

but it's very responsible of you to consider whether or not you can give your baby the life you'd want him/her to have. if you think that you just can't, then you might consider putting him/her up for adoption.

and i know that this isn't an easy thing, but ultimately, you want what's best for the child. now, if you plan on keeping him/her, then there are lots of programs out there that will help you financially with the cost of having a child.

and i think that you should definitely share some of that responsibility with the father, because even if he hasn't been supportive, it is his child too, and he owes it to you and your baby to at least help you out with child support, if he won't be a man and be there for his child.

and as for whether or not you should break up with him, ultimately that's your decision. what you should think about is this: is it worse to know your father and have him be an irresponsible jerk, or to not know him at all.

you love your baby, so you want only the best things for him, and that includes the best people. and if you think her father isn't going to bring anything to the table, then maybe it's best that he isn't a huge part of her life.

and you can wait to meet a really good man who will treat you and the baby well--even though he isn't the father--as opposed to some half pint who won't even be supportive when you need it the most. i wish you well, and i know you have some hard decisions to make. sorry it has to be so tough.

good luck and keep us posted

I see that you have posted two concerns ~ one about the pregnancy and one about dating ~ quoted below.

Do you think that you should perhaps sort out your thoughts on the baby, and the baby's father, before deciding what to do about the boys in your class?

I think that this might be for the best.


http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=216791#Post216791

Hi, I agree with both the previous posts.
I believe in most places, 20 weeks is the cut off for abortions unless the mother's health is in danger.
Also I believe you should get things figured out before you do anymore dating.
However, I do have some personal experience:
When I was 19, I was in your shoes. I got pregnant and the baby's father did not want anything to do with us. I was definitely not responsible enough or ready to be a parent and didnt want to expose a child to my ignorance. Even though I loved the baby, I knew he would be better prepared for and taken care of with someone else.

I made the devestating decision to place my son for adoption. We did an open adoption and I got to decide who my child's parents would be. No baby could have more love than he did. His parents were very good about sending pictures and updates. Now that he is grown, we have a personal relationship and it is really good. He understands that I didnt give him up because I didn't love him, but that I gave him up because I loved him too much.

Im not saying adoption is the way you should go, only relating my experience. Plenty of 17 year old make great parents. It is a hard hard road, but you can make it, with a good support system. I hope this helps in some small way.

Second on everything already said.

Have you spoken with your mother? Would she help you out if you explained things to her? I know there have been young parents whose parents took on much of the responsibility of raising the baby. I do not know your situation (or hers) and if this is feasible. Though it will be hard emotionally, putting it up for adoption might be the best thing for both you and your unborn child.

Oh my goodness what on earth are you doing making love at 17 years of age. You should have thought about that before being with men.
In addition, be careful of these other boys that like you and make sure they are not just after one thing. Boys do talk.

It is definitely tooo late for abortion, adoption is the other option you have.

There are acually clinics who do abortions that late (whichmakes me want to cry) I know it isn't "legally" a child until it breathes air.. but that is a child to me.

Please, please, please do not have an abortion. It's not fair to the child. If you do not think you can take care of a child, put her up for adoption. There are TONS of couples who can't conceive a child and would give your child a loving home in a heartbeat. It's not fair for you to end the life of an innocent child while there are others who don't even have that option.


I agree with p&p though, do what's in your heart. Some 17 year olds would be able to care for a baby perfectly fine (with a little help from family). but if you think you absolutely can't to it, PLEASE do adoption.


and KoKo, I have friends that lost their virginity at 14 or 15. unfortuantely it happens, though I dont approve of it. It's actually not that uncommon with people in high school... =[

Yes Zookeeper I remember when I was 12, a girl was 13 and pregnant actually. I am not even 30 yet and grew up when making love was already normal in junior high or high school. It is hard because of the peer pressure. Even if parents are good parents, kids do slip because of peer pressure.
I agree with zookeeper also in being against abortion. There are people who would love that child as a miracle since they cannot have their own children.

i wasnt trying to say it in a rude way, but yeah, I'm surpirised some of my friends didnt end up pregnant.

Oh no I did not take you as being rude. Thank you

i got pregnant at 17 and im 30 now. the day i found out i was pregnant her dad walked out. he has never been seen or heard from since but its ok cuz i later married a guy who adopted my daughter as his own. i didnt finish high school but im proud to say i do have a GED and am going to college. i didnt think i could do it either so i was gonna let my mom adopt her. the day she was born and i saw her tears come to my eyes. my mom told me if i was willing to try to raise her that she would help me.
i told my mom i wanted what was best for harley. my mom made sure i did what was best for harley. harley is now 12 years old,almost 13 and im so glad my mom decided to let me raise her.
my favorite word in the world now is "mom". and you hear people without children say i love him/ her like my own...you dont know what love really is til you have a child and that child depends on you. i thought i knew what love was but i didnt until i had a child. and now im the proudest mom of 4 beautiful healthy kids.
please dont think ur a bad mom for considering to put her up for an adoption cuz ur not. people have more respect for a person who puts the child up for adoption than has an abortion. also, after so many abortions it is very hard for a woman to carry a child.

Welcome Nichole.

It's very difficult, I think, to say what a pregnant teenager should do, but I think that Nichole's words must be very encouraging to any. Nichole, you have done very well.

I understand that many girls, who go through with an abortion, really regret it afterwards, but many think that it was best for them at the time.

Personallty, I don't think that I could give up my child ~ by abortion or even adoption ~ and each person's personal view is bound to affect the way they might advise someone else.

Thank You PDM! it is very difficult.

I ended up pregnant at 18 and had wondered if I was ready to raise a child. If you give yourself half a chance, I think you'll find out that you are. If you decide to have the baby, I'm not saying it will be easy or you'll be great at everything on the fist shot, but you learn and life still goes on. Having a baby doesn't have to be a hindrance or a burden on your life.
If you decide not to keep the baby, please opt for adoption. THere are soooo many people out there willing to give a child a good, loving home.

Please think long and hard before you make any decisions that can't be called back.
All the best..

yes and my mother had my brother when she was 17 so you probably could handle it just worried tho