Hi and welcome rmatai
This doesn't sound too positive, does it?
Perhaps he's just trying out a few things, but he should respect you.
Even if he disagrees with you about things, he should discuss them with you, not just blithely defend them and let them insult you.
You 'look down on them' ~ are you actively rude?
Are you allowing your concern for what
might happen to affect your relationship too much?
You have your standards. Consider whether they are fair, and if they are, then you have to stick by them. Smoking drugs and drinking a lot wouldn't impress me, either.
He is free not to have the same standards as you, but then you have to decide whether someone who doesn't share those standards can really be your life partner.
On the other hand, is he actually involved in all the smoking and drinking?
Was he perhaps a bit too uptight before and is trying to be more laid back?
After more than two years, whatever you do will be quite an important step. Going away is going to have an effect, anyway. Do you think that, underneath the bravado, it is this which is bothering him?
I hope everything works out well.
