My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years, and during that time he has ditched all of his old intelligent and classy friends for trashy immature ones. His new friends smoke pot and drink, and hate me because I'm "stuck up". I don't deny it, I look down on them, but only because of what they do and what they might do to my boyfriend. I'm so worried that they'll drag him down with them and I don't know what to do anymore.

He doesn't defend me when they say horrible things about me, and he defends them when I tell him how awful they are. It's making me upset because I've been by his side longer than these people, and everything else in our relationship is great.

Despite this I don't know whether it's just time to break up. I'm going away to VA Tech next year and he's staying to go to community college. Is it time to just end it, or can I salvage it? I really like him and I don't really want to break up, but I'm at my wit's end.

hey, and welcome to the fourms. I cann see a portion of whats going on here, must of my friends smoke and drink as well, but that dosen't mean i do it. now i don't know your boyfriend, so this is just coming from my perspective. Really i would have stayed with all the weird friends, cause i have kind of frineds, and they don't smoke. Dose your boyfriend smoke and drink with them?

Second, If he dosen't defend you when they say horrible things bout you, but he'll them, something not mixing so well in this relationship, ok fine, it's cool to joke around, but i think he's taking it a lil too far. plus with you going to VA Tech, there's a little seperation there,s o there could be bigger problems while your gone. i know you don't want to break with him, but if it was my girlfriend who had to go through this xxxx with me being her boyfriend, she probably dump me in a blink of a eye.

What i have said was from my perspective like i have said before.So correct if Im wrong from any different points of view, but you need to talk o him about this, tell him if wants you as a girlfriend, or at all, he needs to find a new friends, not these other guys.

Hi and welcome rmatai

This doesn't sound too positive, does it?
Perhaps he's just trying out a few things, but he should respect you.

Even if he disagrees with you about things, he should discuss them with you, not just blithely defend them and let them insult you.

You 'look down on them' ~ are you actively rude?
Are you allowing your concern for what might happen to affect your relationship too much?

You have your standards. Consider whether they are fair, and if they are, then you have to stick by them. Smoking drugs and drinking a lot wouldn't impress me, either.

He is free not to have the same standards as you, but then you have to decide whether someone who doesn't share those standards can really be your life partner.

On the other hand, is he actually involved in all the smoking and drinking?

Was he perhaps a bit too uptight before and is trying to be more laid back?

After more than two years, whatever you do will be quite an important step. Going away is going to have an effect, anyway. Do you think that, underneath the bravado, it is this which is bothering him?

I hope everything works out well.