From the way you structure your post, you seem to be a guy that doesn't really like surprizes and preferres structure and planning. Not all things are able to be cut and dried and clear in advance, especially when it comes to romance. I feel from your statements that you not only don't want a failed romance, but that perhaps you have missread signs before or perhaps were hurt in a romance.
My advice would be to enjoy the friendship because it seems to be one that has a good foundation. She seems to be comfortable sharing information about other male friends. Although you center on the male friend in your post, I am sure she has shared information about all her friends. You can step up the conversation by indicating that you miss her which would be putting a "toe" in the water, so to speak. Listen carefully to her responses. She is not stupid and can tell if your written words are more than friendship. I would not do much more than that however until she comes back home.
When she is home, you have a first hand opportunity, face to face to incorporate body gestures, eye contact, facial expressions and responses to your overtures into your impression.
If you want to know how she feel, you will have to overcome your shyness and make some kind of overture, whether it is an arm around her or another appropriate action at the right moment.
If she moves away from the arm around her and does not tolerate it then you may ask did I make you uncomfortable? Her response may not tell all. She may avoid contact for many reasons unrelated to your presence. Previous violence such as rape for instance. Perhaps she is comfortable taking it slow also, untill she knows you thoroughly.
If she tolerates the arm and perhaps hand holding as appropriate, then moving on to an attempted kiss communicates "exactly how you feel". You will know if this is the next step. A woman usually leaves a man an opening if she wants it. Standing close at the end of a date, is one. Sitting within range in a quiet moment is another.
If you do not have experience at these situations, there are many resources not to mention this forum, to give you some friendly advice.
Unfortunately the moment of truth, must come and if she turns your kiss away, you need to be honest and apoligize and tell her that you value her friendship but must have "missread" the situation. It is appropriate to ask if you made her uncomfortable so that she has the opportunity to clarify your relationship "once and for all". She will probably not throw your friendship away if you are accepting of "just" a friendship. If she leaves the door open to more but is just not ready for personal reasons then she has morals and is probably just as careful as you are. I would think that would be worth waiting for. The decision is yours to make, but yes honesty and face to face and making overtures to take it to the next level would be my advice.
