Hey,
I've been running around and around in my head about a topic I've come across. Now, most of you don't know me very well, but I struggle a lot with women (dating/friendship) on a basis that my social life with women is non-existant at the moment.
Here's the topic. I read in a list of "10 things men do to screw up dating relationships with women". The number 10 reason is Being Too Nice. Ok, so naturally I'm a nice guy. I treat people with respect (men and women), I like to take time for other people when asked of me or when I feel like volunteering. I basically would put my life on hold for a brief moment to help someone in need... someone who needs a friend.
On a date, I would buy her meal, hold a door open for her, compliment her (NOT TOO MUCH, once... maybe twice during the whole evening.) Do the classic gentleman type of things.
Now when it comes to women, I can see where some of this might come across as being too nice. But, when I get the sense that I'm being too nice, I try every now and then to be a jerk. Mostly its just playful poking and teasing, but when something really irritates me that a girl that I know in my life does, if I get xxxxxx in anyway, it makes no difference whatsover in the relationship. It actually ends it right then and there. For example, earlier tonight I received an email from a friend of mine (female friend) saying she was sorry that she hasn't returned my calls (which were about a month ago that I called.. i just gave up on her). My question is, should I just let it roll off my back and say, "It's ok." OR should let her know how I feel that its taken her this long to get back with me AND that it wasn't a phone call like it should have been!! My dilemma is this: if I go for being "nice" about it, it won't change our relationship. It'll stay exactly right where it is. Me calling her up occassionally, and she never calling me up, and occassionally calling me back. If I get xxxxxx about the situation, she will probably never speak to me again. She won't feel bad, she'll just wait for me to get over it.
The only reason I am assuming these two outcome is because these are the same exact outcomes that have happened with 11 potential other women in my life. I'm too nice about something, the relationship doesn't grow, even when I make several attempts at doing so. I become the jerk, they never speak to me again. Am I missing something? What should I do? I'm confused, frustrated, angry, and alone all at the same time!!
