You have had a very rough time and I am really sorry to hear of the pain you have suffered.
I think that you have been amazingly patient with this girl.
I can only give my personal response.
If my son were in your situation, I think that I would advise him to move on, because a girl who phones a boy she supposedly loves, on the way to sleep with another man, is not girlfriend material, in my opinion. Maybe she does love you, in her own way, but she does not seem to be treating you with true care or respect.
She wants you to trust her, by showing your feelings, but how can you completely trust a girl who is behaving like this? If she was ready for a caring relationship with you, then she would understand about your past and how it has affected your emotions. She may just be too young and immature to understand that her bahaviour is not really acceptable.
But you are willing to accept her behaviour and forgive. In that case, I don't see how she will respect you long-term if you are willing to just stand back, apparently unconcerned, while she sleeps with another man.
Why not tell her that you love her and are willing to accept what she has done, but, if you are going to get back together, this scenario cannot go on any longer, and she must make her choice. Either she returns to you now, and you try to make a go of it, or she does not return now, and you move on ~ possibly to Japan or the USA.
Those are just my thoughts. Only you can decide what is right for you and what you must do.
You and she obviously care about each other, but is it enough for a long-term relationship?
Or should you just remain friends?
What do you think?
Good luck and take care!
