Hi zyl
he hasnt on his own told me his feelings for me in over 5 months
So, you are keeping a record of this?
It must be bothering you a lot.
He may not realise this and may feel pressured by you to keep confirming that he loves you.
Or, I suppose, it is possible that he is having doubts about the relationship.
some times it makes me feel like im not good enough for him. i asked him tonight if i was good enough for him, i got "you are"
Just 'you are'?
It does sound a bit limited, but, again, I wonder if it's lack of interest on his part or that he feels pressured.
i want to be told that he needs me and wants me. its hard for me to not hear from him how he feels for me because i feel unwanted. i cant remember the last time he said that i was sexy.
Of course you do ~ and if your boyfriend isn't reassuring you in this way, then I can understand how you feel ~ but he may not understand.
Or he may be having doubts.
he started working at a new place in october.. i called his work and when i said who i was, this girl who picked up the phone stopped being all "giggly" when i said i was his girlfriend
Well, girls and boys flirt in the workplace. It doesn't have to mean anything serious.
he never once mentioned he had a girlfriend at his job or talked about something nice i did for him or anything.. his previous job he talked about me non stop like he was proud
Again, this may be nothing. He may just want to keep his private life private this time.
Or there may be more to it.
my concern this time with the action of that girl bothered me real bad. it isnt him that i dont trust, its other females who dont know their place in his presence that bother me, and when i try to explain it to him he doesnt understand, he keeps thinking that i dont trust him. i trust him with my life and beyond, i just dont trust the actions of some other girl and when its not right for her to be all cutesy around him. its disrespectful to me for a female to be like that to him and its disrespectful to him too, if they continue after he tells them, and its especially not proper if they are doing it in the workplace either.
If you find him attractive, then other girls will too.
That's life.
I don't think that you can expect girls to ignore him just because he has a girlfriend.
And provided he is trustworthy ~ and you say that you trust him ~ there shouldn't be a problem
heres a scenario: some 26 y/o girl goes out of her way to look my BF up on myspace and sends him a comment asking him if he heard about the HR issue. am i wrong to say that because it isnt his dept and that it doesnt concern him whatsoever since it has nothing to do with him, that she is out of line to go find him just to ask him about it, outside of work? i personally dont think that she absolutely needed to go find him and ask him about it when she could have waited til the next time he came into work to ask him about it. the issue or whatever, didnt have any single solitary thing to do with him, his position, or his functioning ability at work. i dont see it as being a "good" reason to go search him out to tell him about it outside of work. am i wrong to judge that?
Maybe she thought that the issue did relate to him.
Or maybe she likes him and was just sounding him out ~ especially if she didn't know he had a girlfriend.
I don't really think that you can blame her for that~ and it certainly isn't his fault.
It would be different if she kept pursuing him.
It strikes me that you are concerned as to whether your boyfriend still loves you, or even still finds you attractive. Consequently, you are very wary about the girls he works with.
I would usually say that you need to talk to him about this, but it sounds as if talking to him just makes him feel pressured, or irritated, or makes him think that you don't trust him, so, although I still think that open communication is the way to go, I think that you need to go about this very carefully.
I think that you need to speak to him when neither of you is feeling down, or annoyed, or tired, or in any way 'negative'.
I think that you need to acknowledge, to him, that you understand that he may sometimes feel pressured by your questions about love and trust, but that there are important reasons for your questions and you need to sort them out, objectively.
You need to tell him that you do not want to pressure him, but that you require spoken reassurance of his love, and of the fact that he still finds you attractive ~ without you having to ask. You should acknowledge the fact that, when asked, he did confirm that you were 'good enough' for him, but that it didn't carry as much conviction as you had hoped for.
You should assure him that you do trust him, but that you are feeling so unsure of your place in his life, that it is making you feel jealous of, or irritated by, the relationships he has with the girls he now works with.
You should ask him if there is anything about the relationship that is bothering him and that needs to be sorted out.
You should perhaps get it out in the open exactly how he does feel about you and about your relationship.
Is it what he wants?
Is he having doubts?
Is there anything about you or your behaviour that worries or bother
him?
These are just my thoughts on the situation ~ you should, obviously, do what you think is right for both of you.
Good luck!
