Hello, This is my first post here, hope its not too long.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me nearing a month now and we were together about 2 and 1/2 years. We both are each other’s first real love and were both very much in love.
The break-up was completely my fault; throughout our relationship I was kind of a stick in the mud. Basically, when my girlfriend wanted to do something whether it was a simple walk, or a trip out of state, I would talk my way out of it. At the beginning of our relationship it wasn’t that big of a deal, she wouldn’t mind not going anywhere, and I would get myself to do things more often than not. However as the relationship wore on, and I guess she matured, going out and doing stuff became more and more important to my ex, although I don’t recall her telling me that, but at the same time I started trying less and less. Looking back now I'm not completely sure as to why I didn’t want to do those things, because I always had fun when I did agree to do something. Perhaps I got too comfortable with not doing anything, and it was just all too convenient to just say "no", however that’s not really what I did. Instead of just saying no or compromising like we use to do, I started to blame her, I guess to make her feel bad for bringing the subject up or maybe it was my defense mechanism, I’m not entirely sure. Well, that didn’t make her happy, of course, so a month or two before she actually broke up with me, she began to really think about it, and I guess then, "mentally" checked out of the relationship, I’m not really sure how else to describe it. During the few months between when she mentally left the relationship and officially broke up with me, she met another guy, who I guess took a liking to her.
After breaking up with me, she waited maybe a week or so and then agreed to date this new guy. Meanwhile, the breakup took me by surprise, maybe because I had blinded myself with ignorance, or maybe because I was just a jerk who didn’t look hard enough at our relationship to know there was problems. But the break-up kind of brought me back to earth, I guess, and made me see how badly I had treated my ex. I would never want to upset my ex, because I love and care about her so very much, but I just wasn’t really myself. Hard to believe that I really care about her, I'm sure. Anyway, the break-up made me realize all that I was doing wrong, and I have been working to fix that ever since.
Unfortunately, my ex seems to be happy with this new guy, probably because it is new and exciting, but I can’t help but feel it’s only a rebound relationship. I do want to get my ex back, and I promise myself, and her that I would never make such a mistake like I did before. I've put a lot of thought into it and I know these problems could be avoided as long as I am more open, plus I kind of had an addiction to video-games (that I put to rest) as silly as it seems, which I think was a big reason as to why I never wanted to do anything. However that leads me to several questions, such as, do I even really deserve another chance? It was just a mistake after all, but it was a big one, that left her hurt, and maybe I don’t even deserve another chance. Should I respect her relationship with this other guy? Or should I continue to fight for my ex? It may seem hard to believe after all that I have done, but I really do care about my ex a lot, and I think that I love/care about her more than this new guy, or any other guy (then again I'm sure everybody feels that way). Should I give my ex more space? I think I have been too clingy lately, in trying to convince her how sorry I am and that I want to give our relationship another chance, as well as concerned/jealous about this new man. We have talked several times about all that has gone on, but I believe she is still angry about what I did to her, as well as happy with this new guy cause he is, well, new. But she does understand I want to give it another chance, that I’m sorry, I think we can fix this, and she is considering it, but chances seem low, specially when she is dating someone already. She tells me she still has feelings for me, and that she also misses me, but at the same time, sees no real foreseeable break-up with this new guy. The fact that she still has feelings for me, could that mean she agreed to be in a relationship with another man too soon?
I'd really appreciate your opinions. Thanks in Advance.
