RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Very,very confused....

Hey all. Its been a while since I posted anything so if no one remembers who I am I'll direct you to my other post
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=335870#Post335870

Secondly, I'm not too sure if this is the right place to be posting this, so if not can mods move it to the appropriate section.

So I went through a pretty bad break up about 4 months ago. Cried, greived, felt my first real loss, and now I'm pretty well over it. Today I get a message on facebook from my ex, wasn't anything serious, but at first I was hesitant to reply back. Well I thought it over and decided to do it, but I guess I might be regretting now. I'm not too sure what her intention was by sending me a message, but I found out that shes engaged now. Like I said I am pretty well over her, I don't love her anymore, she turned into this really ugly person and I don't see how i ever loved her in the first place. However, i'm not too sure how I should or do feel about this whole engagement thing. Like I'm not sad about it, I'm not angry, but then again I'm not overly happy about it as well...

So I'm just a little confused here, and maybe would like someones perspective on this. And yes, like I said, we've been Broken up for almost 4 months.

Hi Marioman

You said in your earlier posts that this girl craves attention.

And she is getting it from you, isn't she, even though it is over between you?

You are not sad or angry over her engagement, which shows that you are coming to terms with what happened.

All the same, she was planning to move in with you; she did break your heart; she changed; she let you down.
You are bound to feel something about this ~ and it's not surprising that you don't feel 'overly happy' about it.

I think that your reaction is probably normal.

The person she was ~ or you thought she was ~ will always have a place in your heart ~ even though your head knows that you are better off without her.

The best response you could have given, in my opinion, would be to congratulate her on her engagement and leave it at that.
Is that what you did?

It's over. She's engaged. You are getting over her.
Accept your feelings of confusion as normal and then get on with enjoying your life.

Good luck

So are you saying that I am giving her the attention she craves even if I feel that I'm not? should I maybe not have replied? I really didn't think much of it when I saw that she sent me a message. The message was basicly "Hey, how are you doing" so thats why eventually I decided to go ahead and reply back.

I found out the "engagement" thing by looking at her profile, so really she didn't tell me herself. I've kind of started to think that maybe she meant for me to find out, maybe to rub it in or something...

we got into a bit of a convo, and I did mention that I knew that she was engaged by way of her profile, and she replied with "oh yeah sorry I didn't tell you right away". As well, I recently moved in with a female roommate, and my ex asked me if I "liked this girl" which no I don't, and then she asked me if I have any plans on a girlfriend, which I said no not really. What could she be so interested in that for? I asked her why and she said "no reason". I've since stopped responding, cause really I have no clue what shes trying to pull here.

I think it was ok to reply ~ briefly & politely ~ but, if you are getting over her & she is engaged, then, like you, I don't see any real need to continue with the conversation.

Maybe she's just checking that you are ok.

Maybe she hopes that you still yearn for her.

Maybe she just wants to be friends.

Maybe she just still craves attention.

Maybe she was just conversing ~ you mentioned her engagement; she asked if you had anyone.

Who knows?

Does it really matter ~ if it's over between you?