RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up anger issues ruined our relationship

hey lookn for sum advice and hope this is the place to get it
never posted my problems in a forum b4 so i haop i get this rite

to cut a long story short

im male 23 years of age and was in a relationship with my high school sweet heart for 8 years and over the last year i have had a lot of anger issues letting little things annoy me and when i get annoyed it gets me really angry and end up lashing out at who ever is closest to me wich is usualy my girlfriend now my ex of 2 weeks she has told me she has had enuff and dosent want to be in a relationship the way it was
i want her back so bad am ready to do any thing and even considering asking her to marry me but still not sure if its the rite thing to do as im not sure if she will have me back or if i can change even though i want to

is ther any 1 here that think they can help advice on how i can over come these anger probs and if you think i should ask her to marry me any feed back good or bad is welcome

thx for taking the time to read this

Marriage as a crutch to "fix" your problem, or make her feel you are dealing with your problem, is not the way to go.

First, you have to admit that you are the one with a problem - dealing with anger. Second, you should seek professional help - counseling or therapy, IMO.

Get yourself right so that you can truly care for another, is my advice.

Welcome to the forum. And I'm glad you're wanting to do something constructive. You're doing step one right now. And you can do the next step, also. Do it for you!

Sodga - your anger issues may be a product of depression. Please talk to you doctor about this. I had a problem with either feeling like crying or hitting someone. I also have ADD issues. I found that I was angry with myself, my family and the world in general.

I talked to my doctor about this and he put me on a low dose anti-depressant. What a difference that made in my life.

The first thing you need to do is talk to your doctor. Your anger is a symtom of something -

Marriage is not an answer - if fact that could compound your problems. You need to find a way to deal with you anger first.

I truly feel for you because having been someone that has had to deal with temper and anger issues all my life I know how hard it can be.

Good luck -

You can't enter into marriage if you have any ourstanding issues that need to be addressed. Marriage is difficult enough under "healthy" circumstances. Please seek counseling and let her see that you know there is a problem and you are willing to get help. I'd hate to see you take your anger out on her.
Good luck, we're all here for you. Keep in mind, we aren't judging you, we just want you to seek help. We all have to demons that we deal with on a daily basis. I know that I do.

Welcome Sodga

I agree with the others.

If you have anger problems, then you really need to sort them out. Marriage won't do that. It could even make things worse.

If your girl has become your ex because you have lashed out at her, then marriage is not going to seem like an attractive option for her at this stage, anyway.

It is good that you have acknowledged your problem. That is a positive step. But have you acknowledged it to her?

I, like the others, would recommend some kind of counselling / therapy. Ask your doctor for advice.

I think, if you want this girl back in your life, that you need to apologise to her, tell her that you are addressing your problems and let her know that you are getting some help.
It's probably best done in the form of a letter, in my opinion.

Good luck!

hii there,
got talk to her first then if she forgives you pop the question lol, and also why dont you go to docs to see what is rong it could be depression or lack of sleep ?
or even if you drink alot that could be the problem
hope i helpd
x

welcome shelllxxx ~ thank you for your input

Buddy, I have the exact same problem. They do something that xxxxxx you off and you do the verbal version of an atom bomb. I'm sure it has something to do with my arab blood.

This probably isn't the greatest idea on earth but I talked to a doctor about it (not psychiatrist) and she recommended Wellbutrin. It has been much better ever since I started but you need to be AWARE. When you start getting worked up the best thing is to just LEAVE. A good 20 minute drive or walk helps me much, then you get reality back into your head and can really see through the cloud of anger.