RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Please Help me!

Hello friends, I am new in here and My English is not good too, so I really do hope you understand what i am talking about.

Ok here is my problem. I have been in love and with my girlfriend for past 2 years and we have been live together for more than a year now.
I really do love her and but the problem is i always hide my feels from her, i do tell her that i love her all the time but most time i never show my feels to her. and I am a bad listening. and i am a bad talking guy ( means i am not a sweet talking guy). but i am a very truthful person.
few days back she met a guy and she got crash on him becoz that guy is a sweet talking and he listen to her. so she want break up with me and take the chance with him.
and at the same time i realize all the mistakes i have done. I asked her to give me a chance so i can proof to her that i love her and i can do anything to win her back.
i promised her i will change and i am already started. after i promised her, i will do my best to change becoz i love her. so now we are taken a break. and during these few days break she start dont know what to do. she is still going out with him but she still call me to tell me how much she love me.
I told him i will do everything to get her back. and i am doing it now.. but now i start asking myself if i should keep doing this to win her back or just give up and let her be with him. becoz i dont know if this will work out or not...
thats why I need your help please give me some advice....
thank you
One more thing we do love each other very much, I think the only reason she got crash on that guy is becoz he give her what she always wanted from me but i never give it to her or show her. and she still love me becoz when i buy follower to her and talk to her nicely she start to cry and say, this is what i always wanted.
I really love her and i dont want leave her, so please help me with your advice, so i know what to do and how to win her back.

Hello there!
Welcome!

To sum up:

You have been in love and with your (ex) girlfriend for 2 years.
You have been living together for more than a year now.

You really love her and you tell her this regularly.
You don't 'sweet talk' her, though, & you are not 'romantic', but you are truthful.
You are not good at listening to her.

Now she has met another man.
He is romantic & sweet-talking and this has stolen her heart.

She has broken up with you & gone to him.

You want her back, so you have promised to be a better listener and a more romantic person.

She is now going out with him, but telling you that she loves you.
As far as you are concerned, you both love each other very much.

The other man knows that you are trying to win her back.

Should you pursue her or leave her alone??

Well, she says that she loves you.

And you love her.

Maybe this can be saved ~ but you will both have to want to save it and you will both have to try very hard to make it work.

Good luck!

thanks for help, I think you are right, I should leave her alone for somtime and see what she really want. just pretty hard to let her gone away after more than 2 years.

Yes, it would be hard.

When people live together, I see it as a real commitment ~ similar to marriage.

To leave someone she loves because she has a crush on a 'sweet-talking guy' does seem to be a big step.

Is there more to this?
Have there been problems for a while?

Perhaps, if she is willing, you could try relationship counselling.

Hello my friend thank you for try help me out.
we never had any problem before, sometimes we have some fight but we always kiss and make up in less than 40 mints. so we never had any problem in the past.
so i really dodnt know what is going on in the first place.i try to stop not call her since yesterday but than she keep calling me, becoz i just stop call her. and she seems to be very happy when she is talking to me. she still ask me to do this and to do that for her.
so do you think i should call not calling her? and give her some space to think?...
I really do love her but at the same if whatever i try wont change a thing than i think is better not try.

she still keep SMS say she love me very and thing like that. and when ever she calls she get angry if i dont say I love you to her.Last night she called me again before I went to bed, in the end i just say ok good and talk to you tomorrow. than she got little sad and asked me where my is I love you baby and sweet dreams and kisses? than i told her I love you baby good night and sweet dream and kisses. after that she became happy again.
so i really dont know what she really want..

I don't know what she wants, either.
This is an unusual scenario,

She is no longer living with you, so where is she living?

It strikes me that she wants some fun with the other man, but wants you to carry on loving her and supporting her, even as she is being unfaithful to you.

And you are fitting in with this, by letting her have her taste of freedom, sending her your love, hoping for 'sweet dreams' and doing as she asks.

You are being a lot more patient and tolerant than many men would be. This may or may not be the best way to deal with this.

It is not unusual for women in committed relationships to find other men attractive. Not all go off and have relationships with them. Those who do have relationships with the other men tend to have secret affairs. Your lady is being frank and honest with you.

You don't know what she really wants. Perhaps she doesn't either. I think it's important for you to ask yourself what you really want.

I think that if she wants your love, then really she should be with you ~ not with someone else. But it's for you to decide.

Good luck!

Hello my friend thank you so much again for your warm and kind help with my messed up problems.
she is living with her mum right now.
well i really dont know what i want now... last night when she was angry with me she say that she is in love with him and she want be with him. and i told her thats ok, if that will keep you happy.
today we speed more than 3 hrs on the phone (every time she call me). and she send me some new photos she took with her friends. anyhow I really dont know what i should do nor what i want do. I am kind of lost right now. i try to move on ask she is move on (maybe). but than i start to think what happens if she want come back and i already start to move on?
I have been ask myself many times what i want, sometimes I think i should give her a chance ( as no one is perfect in this world, every one do make mistakes. but at the same time another part of me tell me, look she is gone and move on. that's why i am slowly try to give her the space she want and leave her alone with what she want.
as you say i have patient well maybe hehe becoz i am a Buddhist and i do Meditation, maybe that helped me alots with inner peace.
well when it comes to love inner peace and Meditation wont work that much...
so after you heard what is going on with me and so called my girlfriend do you think i should keep move on or give her another chance? and do you think is worth to keep try to get win her back? oh one more thing she still dont like me to talk to my other ex girlfriend (she always get jealous her shen ever i talk to her and she still does). she dont get jealous with other girls but only with my ex.


Here I have something more to say, the day before yesterday, she went to met him and than around 2am i was asleep,i got sms from her, but when i read the sms, i know it wasnt her who wrote the sms. it was the guy. he is use bad words about her, he used too much F words and B word about her. but anyway the mean thing is that he is telling me he slept with her and bla bla bla.... anyway it was that nice to read.
but i didnt say it to her becoz i dont want she know what he wrote if she see it she may get more hurt. but at the same time i did not deleted the sms. so last night asked if she allow him to use her phone or not and she told me she didnt allow him to use her phone, than i told her to keep the phone away from him. than she want know why, ofcoz i didnt tell her thats why she start fight with me. anyway today one of my friend she got very angry with me becoz i didnt tell my girlfriend about the sms he sent to me from her phone, she told me i have to tell her.
so about 20 mints back i was on the phone with her and she keep pushing me and ask me why i ask her to keep her phone away from him, than i just told her about the sms i got from her phone. now i dont know what she doing, i am sure she is going to ask the guy about it but ofcoz the guy is going to denied it. he will never say he did it. that i am sure....
anyway what i like to know is am I did the right thing or the wrong thing by telling her about the sms which sent to me by that guy? in the sms he show no respect about her at all.if you read the sms i am sure you will get angry too.

you said my lady is being frank and honest with me. well its not all true, she was lie to me for about a week before i found out.but until now she keep say that she didnt cheat on me, she just lied to me. but she still keep lie and every time i have to tell her to stop lie. after we start take a break. she keep lie say things like i never slept with him or kissed him, but i know she did,so she dont need to lie to me coz we are taken break. sometimes when she is going to sleep in that guys place she will make another lie to me by say she is going to stay with her friend..... until now she keep lie to me, I just dont know why she cant tell me the truth,becoz i dont care what she is doing right now coz we are taken break, if i get chance to meet another lady i may go sleep with her too but i wont lie to her.

Only you can decide what is the right thing for you.

If that man was being disrespectful about her, then I do think that you did the right thing to tell her.

Personally, I think that she should make her choice. I don't think that it is right to date another man ~ and sleep with him ~ but still expect you to love her and care about her. You say that you are on a break ~ but it isn't a complete break.

If I were you, I think that I would try to move on, because this sort of thing would not suit me at all ~ but it's not me ~ it's you.

Are you willing to wait for her, no matter what ~ knowing that she is sleeping with him and he is sending you unpleasant messages?

If so, then I admire your patience & tolerance.

She is, in effect, dating him, but demanding affection from you.

Is this what you want?

Obviously it isn't, otherwise you would not be posting your concerns.

I think that, since you care for her, and have not decided to move on, you need to have an objective discussion with her about where your relationship is going, whether there is any future in it, and whether you can really make it work ~ or if you both want to make it work.

Sometimes age is relevant ~ how old are you both?

Good luck!

she didnt believe that the guy sent me such sms from her phone she think i am lie. now that guy start to sms me from his phone and tell me all dirty things about her and show no respect about her. when i told her about the sms he sent from his phone again she still dont believe it, she think i am still keep lie to her.
I think i am doing the wrong thing about tell her the things he said to me. she think i just try to break them up or something like that. really first i dont want tell her that becoz i know she wont believe me any way but my friends push me to tell her, and now she think i am lie about everything.
please tell me i was wrong to tell her about these stuff.
I really dont know if i was wrong to tell her about that or not. i dont want she feel that i was lie to her and i dont want she feel that i try to break them up.
I love her but i will never do such thing to hurting her. i will very happy if she stop go out with him. but thats up to her.
now i am not sure any more about what i should do, wait for her or just give up and move on. but i am sure that if she keep think that i was lie to her about the sms stuff than i am sure i will give up and move on.
well now i kind of understand why that guy wrote, i can tell her that he wrote that kind of sms to me, but its just waste of my time, he said she will never believe what i said... well its was true coz she dont believe me......
i am tried of think and try to please her......
i am 29 and she is almost 22