Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. Your views and the points you raised have given me a lot to think about and given me perspective on a few things. I think there will always be a part of me that loves him and I really do love my boyfriend (although my actions to some may not reflect this) and I don’t know that I will be with my current boyfriend forever and I don’t know that I will ever be with my ex again either. I think you are right though I should focus on who I really love which is my current boyfriend because although I will always love my ex the love I have for my boyfriend is different so I should focus on growing and caring for that. Its strange that we were both able to turn it off so fast as soon as we both found other people, maybe its because it has been like it for so long that we both know it may be something we can come back to at some stage or maybe we know that it probably wont work out. I think the reason I agreed to see him was because I enjoy how he makes me feel, when I speak to him everything seems to go out the window (consequences, boyfriends you name it) and brings back a feeling that I don’t get when I run into or speak to other ex's, a feeling I cant really explain.. Maybe its because I want to make sure that I can be with him again "just one last time" in case it never happens again which is something I just have to forget about, I should be thinking so what if it never happens again and focusing on my current boyfriend. Sleeping with him just felt so right, I also really wanted to because I am extremely attracted to him but I find I can forget all that when I don’t see or speak to him all these thoughts and feelings only come on when I see or speak to him. That’s is why I don’t understand why he is saying he is so guilty now, I knew before this happened that I would feel guilty, I know I went and did it anyway but it was a feeling I knew I couldn’t avoid if I slept with him. Did he not think about it or maybe he just didn’t think it would affect him as badly as it did? I asked him if he regretted it and he said he didn’t and that he just feels guilty but I think he may regret it and I don’t want him to think of me as some kind of mistake. I knew very well that we were just going to have some fun and that neither of us was going to leave our partners but I do still care what he thinks of me... I know I shouldn’t though. I think that I would be or would like to think I would be with him if I wasn’t with my current boyfriend and he didn’t have a girlfriend just because things feel easy and natural when imp with him. Although I am happier with my boyfriend in a lot of ways that I know I wouldn’t have with my ex and vice versa. I feel extremely guilty about it, but I do not wish that it hadn’t happened, I am glad it did and I am glad that its not continuing even though I would have liked it to some degree I know realistically it could have continued. Imp just struggling with where he is coming from and what he thinks or feels about it, as it seems so hot and cold and if we don’t meet again I don’t want his last memory of me as one of regret. I can speak for myself when I say my current partner knows about him to an extent, he knows he was my first love and that we were on and off for a long time and he thinks I have like a sisterly relationship with my ex. I don’t know if his partner knows about our history, I’d assume she doesn’t. The only other problem I have is that he left his watch at my house and I have to see him at some stage to give it back to him so I hope it’s not too awkward! Obviously I have a lot more to think about and a lot of thoughts and feelings to put in order but thank you so much for your fantastic advice! It has really helped me. I just need to go away now and THINK :)