Mattie -
There's no reason to bring "retarded" into this. People were giving you their honest opinion of your situation. Their concern is that you were being aggressively sexual at age 14, and then planning on telling the adults in your lives that you didn't really mean to do that.
I agree that some people bruise easily - but I also know that kissing someone enough to give them a hickey is not a gentle kiss. It means you were kissing aggressively. Many parents would feel uncomfortable with their children being in a situation where it was private and dark enough to be kissing aggressively.
Yes, I understand you want to get married. It's not that we discount your feelings. It's that the vast majority - let's say 99% - of people in their 14 and 15 year age bracket who say they're going to marry their partner do not. It is like wanting to go to Harvard. It's very nice to have that dream - but it also is very good to be realistic about the chances. I know many, many people who were completely convinced they would marry the person they loved at age 15. Literally none of them did.
But I also know, when I *was* age 15, that I knew that my case would be different. So I respect your feeling that your specific case is going to be the unique different one.
So to summarize, kissing passionately *is* sexual. We can talk about all the cultural and sociological significance, what the mouth kisses represent. You are doing it because you have feelings for each other. If you currently choose to "only kiss above the neck" then that is certainly fine and your choice. But our main point of contention is that you are saying it was an "accident" that you were kissing passionately. As someone nearing adulthood it is critical you take responsibility for everything you do, and own up to it. You two chose to kiss, you chose to kiss passionately. You didn't mean for evidence to be left of your actions - but that is not an excuse in the adult world. Being caught at something has nothing to do with your intentions in doing it.
Last edited by Lisa Shea; 11/26/09 04:09 AM.
