Hi Parakeet Lover!
From your other posts, I gather that your name is Andrew & you are 18 ~ I'm assuming that this girl is around the same age. Is that correct?
You say that she was only allowed to go to this boy's party on the understanding that you went too.
Why was this?
Was it so that she would have company on the way there and back?
Or was it because her parents wanted you to be her chaperone ~ ie prevent her from 'making-out w/her bf on his bed'?
It strikes me that you have been unfairly used ~ mainly by her, but perhaps by her parents, as well. After all, you are her friend; not her chaperone. And it sounds as if you didn't even particularly want to go.
However, I do understand the parents. I am always happier if my kids are out with friends, rather than on their own.
'i ended up doing was sitting up in the far corner of the stair well, being the emo girl on the side lines no1 cares about.'And this simply is not fair ~ especially as you told her how you felt and that you wanted to leave! This made her feel bad ~ but you probably felt worse!
However, when teenage girls are in love, & with their boyfriends, hormones may often speak louder than fairness, unfortunately.
Of course she didn't want to leave, but she was behaving unfairly & selfishly towards you ~ from the minute she asked you to go with her, and all the way through the party.
She has apologised and you have learned your lesson.
She, herself, didn't like the way that she treated you and she talked it over with you and told you how sorry she felt, but that does not change what happened to you; it doesn't take away the miserable & lonely experience that you had.
Of course you feel hurt ~ especially as this was your best friend. She ignored you, left you alone, broke her promise.
You say that you
often wonder if you 'try too hard & waste too much effort on her'.
Does she do this kind of thing a lot?
Would she help you out, if you needed her?
The thing is, when one friend has a boyfriend and the other one doesn't, there is an imbalance in the relationship. If both parties are willing, then this can be worked out. There an be some evenings with the boyfriend, and some with the best girl friend, for example.
As I said, hormones do affect people. Your friend may have fully intended to be with you that evening, but may not have been able to resist the boy.
However, it sounds as if she probably wanted to get together with him all along, but could only do so with you in tow. If that was the case, then it was very, very unfair on you.
The other thing here is whether she should have been in or on the bed with this boy anyway. I'm guessing that her parents thought that you might prevent this happening.
Is she worth keeping as your best friend?
Do you do too much for her?
Is it ok?
Only you can answer these questions.
But teenage girls do act like this and she sounds apologetic.
You have to do what you think is right for you, but don't agree to play gooseberry again, or you will just be a wallflower again. Not nice!!
Good luck!
PS.
Please could you try not to use text-speak on the forum.
Thanks!
