Okay.
My name's Sean and this is my first time seeking help here in the forums. Lemme just say first that there's alot of brilliant advice on here that's worked for me a couple of times. But this time, I think I need some real advice from somebody.
This IS long so bear with me please!
There's a girl named Myrissa that I've come to like over the course of a really long time. We had this art class together during first semester.
It started out actually that I didn't notice her...I just stood up for her for some reason (just being nice I guess) when other in class people bothered her. And I slowly grew feelings for her. We'd begin to sit next to eachother in art, in lunch too, and I'd walk her to a few classes. Afterschool we'd chat online for quite a while...It was great. I finally realized I did like her but then the semester ended and our classes got all mixed up so I couldn't spend as much time as I did before with her. I thought to myself "She must have some feelings for me, I know she does." So one day I ask if she wanted to hang out afterschool. She said "Yes." and blushed, then just walked off. "Cool! I was right!" I thought, but we couldn't hang because of her family. Nuts.
I felt kinda empty so I told myself that I'd confess to her my feelings on Valentine's Day(Awww could I've been more cliche??). I did. The whole thing was really sweet. I had a gift and I'd planned it out and everything and Myrissa blushed so much! She said she'd love to be my girlfriend and I'll say that I've never been happier.
"So why are you here?"
Well sadly, her mom said "No." to the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing about a week after we got together and said we couldn't "go out" the day AFTER we got together. THEN she said we couldn't even SEE eachother outside school...
She's 14 and I'm 16, if you're wondering. Her mom has seen me/read my messages over myspace (Messed up.) and knew about me before the whole thing...
Myrissa wasn't comfortable talking about it. She also said we could only be "good friends" (Why is it always the girls that say that???). I took it kinda bad. She knew it. Tried to cheer me up and all. She told me to not stop talking to her even still. I'm not going to ask her to lie to her mom about getting back together or anything, but I want her too badly. I miss holding hands and hugging but I don't think she'll do it anymore.
Now its like, back when we were in art class. Just friends. I told her I couldn't be just her friend, that I had too many feelings toward her. So, its strange, I don't know if she even likes me like that anymore and its hurting. All because her mom said "no?" it affects her feelings toward me? I don't think I'm being demanding either...I just want to know how she feels, but she doesn't seem interested in talking about it.
I tried taking a break from her (I apparently did it before once, and she went crazy for seeing me again) but it didn't change much of anything. Now I have trouble talking to her in general (I don't have anything interesting to say or I'm confused), and I sit there like some dumb idiot while she talks to her more 'interesting' guy friend which of whom I have contempt for (I'm positive he has a gf though), but myrissa said she'd liked me and some other people at one time; just me now though (hopefully).
I'm willing to wait for Myrissa. (Well I'll be in 12th and her 11th when she can date, thats 2 years for us). She was my first girl and I was her first guy, but am I just going crazy because its my first? Am I being demanding/selfish? What do I say? Do I try to express my feelings in hope that she'll open up again?
The spark is fading..I need help.
Thanks,
Sean
