Hello Ross & welcome
So, you were going out with this girl for quite a long time. before you broke up a few weeks ago, and even now, you still go out together ~ as well as seeing each other at work every day.
Yet when, two & a half years ago,
you made the decision to split up,
you wouldn't even speak to her for three months. Then, when you did get back together,
you made the decision not to live together. (Were you living together before that break-up?)
You say that
you always had other things to do ~ things that didn't involve her, presumably?
You say that
you now regret taking her for granted and not trying enough and not caring before.
You say that she warned you what would happen.
Only now have you been doing everything you can to show her how much you love her.
You say: I've been working on everything she cant stand that i do' ~ you have even stopped smoking. (Congratulations; that's very good!)
You say that she knows that you love her.
You say: 'I know she loves me. '
It sounds as if
you made / make all the decisions and did, indeed, take her for granted.
If you really loved her, and knew she hated smoking, why has it taken this ultimatum for you to stop?
Why did you make the decision not to live together? Surely this would have been a joint matter?
It has taken this ultimatum for you to realise what you have lost, so that she is all you think about.
You 'want her back so bad to make everything better'.
Did you think how she felt when
you were deciding how the relationship should be treated, when
you had better things to do.
Even now, when she has told you that she no longer loves you as she used to,
you have decided that she does still love you.
She says everything you say is what you have always said.
She may believe that you are just thinking about yourself and how much
you are suffering and what
you want.
'She says she dont love me the way she used to.'
She doesn't mind you phoning her, and you seem to think that she gets jealous over you, And you say you have not been intimate since breaking up, because she would only want this if you were together (has she actually said this??).
All these indicate that there might yet be hope for you. You seem to think that she still loves you, even though she says that she doesn't.
Maybe you are right.
Or maybe
you should actually listen to what
she is saying, rather than assuming that
you know and that
you are right.
It strikes me that maybe you haven't been listening to her or trying to understand her & that the only reason
you are bothering now is because the break-up is hurting
you.
Is this hurting her?
Would she be better off without you?
Can you be a good caring partner to her?
Are you just saying the same old things, or will you really take her needs into account?
Will you wish to control the relationship, and assume that you know what she thinks and feels and wants?
I think that you may be right and that she actually does love you, but that she wants you to truly appreciate her and stop putting yourself first and taking her for granted.
Even now, now that you realise how much you love and miss her, it strikes me that you are still thinking mainly about yourself, and not about her.
My advice is to start putting her first.
What does she want? How does she feel?
Maybe I have got it wrong about you ~ after all, I don't know either of you ~ but I feel that if you can really start to care more about her than about yourself, you may just be able win her back.
Good luck!