Well that is just a terrible story and I'm sorry to hear it.
After hearing the points of Mark and PDM - both of whom I respect - I can only say that we each have to do what works for us and works for our marriage. There never is a one size fits all recipe, that's for sure.
Maybe I just don't want to find out how I would do in a tempting situation, so I don't let myself get tempted. Frankly, I am so busy with work, home, etc, that I don't meet many new people, and fortunately I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.
I do think that whatever "needs" might be filled outside of marriage -physical, emotional, spiritual, whatever - they need to be measured against the consequences they can bring to the marriage -whether it is pain, loss of trust, suspicion, STD, sufferring - or total devestation - such as appears the case with Aerial's friend.
