Wow Aerial. You've sure brought up a hot topic, one that will find itself a world of different thoughts & opinions, strong ones. Mine included. This is one subject that's drawn dear to my heart unfortunately, so I have a very strong opinion on cheating. I hope that I don't cause offense to someone else.
Cheating, IMO is one of the worst offenses you can commit against someone else. Why? It involves lying to oneself as well as to others & it involves a LOT of pain to ALL involved. When the D-day happens (discovery day of the affair), all parties are affected greatly, especially if there are any children involved.
Aerial wrote:
If your spouse/partner cheats do you forgive and forget?
In this instance, I chose to forgive. Forgetting -- that's a whole other issue. You can NEVER forget. However, in time, w/hard work, the incident can be a memory of the past. And it doesn't hurt as much. In time, it can be looked at as something survived rather than something that's so overwhelming you can't get past it.
Sophie wrote:
I see no problem however in breaking off a relationship for some-one else if and only if you have worked your hardest to make your present relationship work but you just can't save it. There's no point in being unhappy. Although I would perhaps wait a while before openly persuing a new relationship.
I wanted to expand on this a bit, Sophie. Do you mean both partners working their hardest or just one? In most cases that I've seen, one is working hard while the other is not. The one who is not usually thinks they've "done their best" & decides to leave.
Most people do not know that there can be emotional affairs as well as physical affairs. Most people think that it is not considered "cheating" until sex is involved. That couldn't be further from the truth.
In the last part of your statement, I would go a step farther in saying that *I* think it's always best if people wait a while & work on themselves before pursuing another relationship. If people rush in, most instances will show that they carry their "baggage" onto their new relationship & most likely, that will end in failure too b/c they haven't taken the time to evaluate what they would do differently or haven't "let go" of things from the past & come in to a new relationship full of resentments & bitterness that they carry through life.
Most people do not protect their weaknesses. Most people think to themselves that they're immune from cheating b/c "they're not like that"; however, in my experience, it can happen to anyone, even the most upstanding citizen that obeys every law & dots every i. Also, most people do not form boundaries w/the opposite sex (or the same sex if the case may be
) to ensure that their weaknesses are protected. What someone may view as just a close friendship may very well turn into an inappropriate friendship given the right circumstances & it can come upon you w/o you even knowing what hit you. That's the way MOST cases of infidelity happen.
Carl wrote:
And it is why I have so many women friends
As long as you have your boundaries in place!!
My husband has often said that he can relate better to women than he can men. He says quite often that "men are pigs". Maybe there's some truth in that.
