Arranged marriages appear to suit some people - and they went on in England, in the past, amongst the upper classes - but they don't feel right to me. I don't want to be critical of other people's ways; just to explain how I feel.
I suppose my problems with arranged marriage are:
1. I feel that marriage is between two people - and only those two people. Consequently, for me, I simply could not consider anyone else having anything to do with it. I think that I am probably too independent for anything like this, so I find it hard to understand in others.
2. I was brought up to believe that you only slept with someone you really loved; loved enough to marry them and spend your whole life with them. (I suppose, in this sense, my parents did have a lot to do with it.) On that basis, I would have to fall in love first, whereas, I have been told by those with arranged marriages, that the love grows steadily after the marriage. Again, this does not feel right to me.
As I said before, if it is an introduction, and then you fall in love and wish to marry - that seems fine to me. After all, we all have to meet somehow, but the falling in love part and the wishing to live together, make babies together, for me, that should be private, between the two people involved.
I realise, though, that for some it seems right and it works. Somsuj, you and your wife sound really contented together with your family and I think that's great.
But, as you say, you probably have more choice and freedom than some others.
I would be interested in responses to this, not uncommon, scenario:
Girl meets boy. They fall in love. Boy's parents hate girl and / or girl's parents hate boy.
What should boy & girl do?
