I am very confused and frustrated. ...
.... why won't he (at the risk of being crude) sleep with me again?
... I don't want him to marry me: I just want to have fun with him
.... I want to tempt him!...
.... I have an itch I need to scratch it!
...the question remains..how do I tempt him!?
This isn't the sort of advice I can give, or would wish to give, but I might be able to give some insights, perhaps.
My guess is that you are already perfectly capable of tempting him.
You have proved that twice already ~ for a month or so each time.
But maybe he doesn't want to be tempted.
You say:
'I always thought men weren't too complicated but maybe I was wrong'.Yes, maybe you were. Men are people, after all. There are all sorts of people in the world and some may be more complex than others.
You 'just want to have fun' but maybe he wants something more from a relationship.
Or maybe he actually wants less. You say that he does not want commitment ~ maybe being with you for a month, and then another month, looks too much like commitment for him.
Or maybe he wants both more and less. More of a real long-term relationship, which necessitates less of the shallow, fun-type of relationship.
Or maybe he doesn't know what he wants.
'He finds [you] beautiful and is still attracted to [you]', so, as I said, I think that you can, and do, tempt him ~ but, for whatever reason, he doesn't seem to want to be tempted;
'he just wants [your] relationship to be platonic'. He says that sleeping with you
'isn't right'.
He also says that
'he'll only hurt [you]'.
I wonder what he means by that.
Have you asked him?
It could be that he wants someone else, perhaps.
But it could mean that he, too, isn't interested in marriage and that he, too, just wants to have fun, but that he is worried that you might want something more.
After all, you do say that, though you
'don't want to get back into a relationship' and
'don't want him to marry [you]', you are
'going crazy' and
'didn't want the flirting and things to stop' because
'He is completely addictive' ~ and you are
'thinking about him non stop'.
So, are you really being honest with yourself?
I would suggest, since you are seeing him again soon, that you have a serious discussion with him about what you each want from life, and from each other.
Tell him exactly how you feel and ask him if he feels the same way.
Ask him what
'isn't right' about your relationship.
Ask him what he is worrying about as far as
hurting you is concerned.
Reassure him that you just want to enjoy happy times with him and that you are not, at present, considering a long-term commitment (if that is really true.)
Being on the same wave-length is probably going to feel more attractive to him than romantic fragrances or fancy lingerie.
But I don't know. I cannot say what might be going on in his mind. Maybe he just doesn't want to be the object of an addiction.
The best thing would be to talk to him.
