OK. Here goes:
You met him at a college party, in October, where he asked you to dance ~ and you danced together for much of the evening.
You next saw him at a conference, where:
I saw him but i did not talk to him. I wanted to but I did not dare to do so.
In the January, you became 'facebook friends'.
Then he asked you to spend time with him during Spring break ~ he even offered to pick you up ~ and you were happy!
You talked a lot on the phone; he offered to teach you to drive; you had a meal together and went to the cinema; he brought you flowers!
He called you nearly every day and met up with you every weekend.
He asked if he could kiss you! It was yout first kiss.
This sounds wonderful and romantic.
But you rarely phoned him.As you say:
'Everything seemed like my dream come true!! '
But, you also say:
I was SUPER HAPPY but confused at the same time. I was scared of getting into a relationship because I did not want my parents to be upset with me.
So
the first hints of something negative here are from you?
Why so scared?
As you say, you only kissed, and he even asked permission to do that.
You went to his house ~ alone with him ~ and nothing untoward happened.
Why would your parents be upset?
He never showed any interest to meet my parents. He even said one time that he did not want me to meet his parents because it was too soon.
Actually, I can see his point. It depends on the family and the culture, but, from my point of view, parents are usually 'met' when things become more serious.
When I started dating my husband ~ when we were at college ~ I don't remember either of us getting to know parents for some time. After all, I was dating him not his family ~ and vice versa.
The problem was that he never asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend. I really wanted him to do so. So, we kinda assumed we were a couple.
Someone else said the same thing on here recently, and I was quite surprised. I didn't think that boys asked girls to be their girlfriends ~ not after primary school, anyway.
I don't remember my husband asking if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
If a boy asks you out, and you continue to go out, you are dating ~ and if you are dating, then you are his girlfriend.
(It's usually other people who ask if you are his girlfriend.)
We kissed but never had sex...thanks God!!
One time, we went out on a double date with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. we ate sushi and after that we just had ice cream. he returned me to my dorm and well we did a little more than kissing but DID NOT have sex!
Well, I personally wouldn't recommend having sex until someone is in a committed long-term relationship ~ but I know that there are plenty of people who would disagree with me.
Are you saying that he tried to encourage you to have sex but you refused?
He said that the next weekend we were going to hang out but during the week he just called me like once or twice. the next saturday, i wasnt feeling good so i told him that i was not going to be able to hang out. he said ok..he seemed to be ok with it.
You also said that:
After that he called me almost everyday .... I did not use to call him very often. Probably just called him 2 or 3 times total from February to April.
So he seems to have been phoning you a lot, while you hardly phoned him at all.
And then you didn't see him at the weekend ~ understandable if you were ill.
Were you ill, or just not in the mood to go?
the week after. i saw that on his facebook he had a girl's picture on his profile. i was a little jelous so i changed my status to SINGLE
Ok, I can see how a picture of a girl on his profile might concern you ~ but it could have been his sister or his favourite singer.
If my boyfriend did that, then I would be concerned too, but I would ask him about it, not just change my status.
he called me 5 times after i changed it but i did not answer because i did not want to say something i could probably regret later on.
So you didn't give him chance to explain?
I was xxxxxx off because there were some problems going on at that exact time. So i was stressed out because of school stuff, i had problems with my friends, PLUS this problem with him...so...
You didn't really know if there was a problem with him. And it's not his fault that school and friends were stressing you out.
I did not return the call because it was like 2am already when i saw the 5 missed calls.
Oh ~ you said that it was because you did 'not want to say something i could probably regret later on'
so the next day he sent me a txt messge saying "we need to talk". so we talked that night. he basically broke up with me because "we did not click". that is what he said at first. but when i asked him why he was breaking up with me he said that he did not have strong feelings for me.
I wonder if that's how he really felt, or if he thought that you felt this way?
it seemed like he wanted to cry but i dont know if he was faking it. he also said that he did not want to break up with me. but that he had to be honest with himself.
Why would he fake it? ~ Big boys don't cry!
And what did he have to be honest about, I wonder?
i did not cry!! i was just smiling all the time at the end, i did want to cry but i just didnt! i told him that i was happy as long as he was happy. He said he was surprised because I was not crying and because i was just smiling...
Not everyone finds it easy to cry, but I should think that you smiling through all of this must have been difficult for him to deal with ~ especially if he were near to tears, himself.
He also said that we could still be friends and that i could call him or text him any time i wanted.
So he wanted to stay in contact with you.
He left and it was until he left that it hit me! we were not going to hang out anymore! i could not hold my tears and everything went bad after that. I had a presentation that next day as part of my Final activity in one of my classes. I was crying throughout the presentation. but i never stopped smiling, though.this was on Friday.
Hhmm..
On Saturday, i sent him a text message asking if we could still hang out as friends. he replied saying yes and that he would call me.
The next day i sent him another text asking if i could call him. he called me like 3 minutes later. we talked for like 30 minutes and towards the end he asked me how i was doing. i knew he was talking about the break up. i just said i was happy and that i would prefer not to talk about that anymore. he said he missed me. i wanted to say a million things but i just didnt say them because i was too proud, i guess. I asked him if he could teach me how to drive and he said yes!!
He said that he missed you.
You said that you were happy.
You were too proud.
i also told hijm that my goal was to drive to Vallejo this summer ..., he said i was a little crazy and that he wanted to take me there!! I was very happy when he said it!!...he invited me to hang out the next Sunday. i said OK. but i sent him a message on Thursday saying that i could not go because i had some family stuff to do. so, i called him the next week on Wednesday for his birthday!! we talked for like 1 hr and 45 minutes. Neither one of us mentioned anything about the break up. we were laughing and stuff.
So you let him down, after agreeing to see him?
SIGH...i sent him another txt message the next day. he did not reply. i sent another txt the next day (friday)asking if he wanted to come with me to the park because my friend's sister was going to do her first communion. So, i called him an hour later and talked to him...that was the worst thing i could have done. We ended up talking about the break up. I asked what i had done wrong. he kept saying that i didnt do anything wrong and that both of us need space. i believe he was asking for space FOR HIMSELF. he also said that we cannot hang out yet because it was too soon and that we could not be friends YET..for the same reason. The phone call ended when i asked him if he wanted me to stop calling. he said I GUESS. So i believe he does want me to stop calling him. he said he had to go because he had to wake up early the next day.
THat was it. he broke my heart once again.
Perhaps you broke his, too?
On facebook, I blocked him because i did not want to bother him anymore. but then i chenged my mind and unblocked him but i found out that i had taken him out of my friends list as well!! so we are not friends on facebook anymore.
Blocking someone on Facebook is not the way to stay friends.
Last Thursday i went to the college he attends because i was visiting my sister. ... HE WAS WALKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! he was supposedly talking on the phone. he was wearing sun glasses so he pretended not to look at me. i saw him and looked away like if he was a stranger. the next day, i went back to the college for a meeting. i thought he was at HIS meeting (different club). so on our way to the car, my sister and I saw him talking to his friends ( males and females). i just passed by without saying hi or looking at him. i am almost 100% sure he saw me but ignored me as well.
So now youn are deliberately ignoring each other?
That isn't very mature ~ a 'hello' wouldn't go amiss.
So now i do not know what to do. i want to call him but i dont want to fight with him. i want to give him his space but i am scared that he will never call me or hang out with me any more. I miss him A LOT! I wonder if he will ever call me!!!
In the past he called you a lot, when you fardly ever phoned him; a couple of times he arranged to meet you and you let him down; you put 'single' on your Facebook status; you blocked him as a 'Facebook friend'; you ignored him twice at his college; you smiled when he suggested that you break up ~ even though he was near to tears ~ and said that you were happy when he asked how you were feeling and said that he missed you.
I think that it may be time for you to phone him ~ and to be honest with him.
I have a feeling that he did not want to break up with me and he just needed time and space.
Possibly. Everyone needs their own space ~ even when they are dating.
But have you considered that he might have thought that you wanted to end the relationship, so he got in first, so as not to be too obviously upset?
i was going to ask him if he was just playing with me but when he broke up with me, he said "dont think that i was just playing with you because i wasnt. i really was interested in you. I wanted to try! i noticed you were very sweet on facebook and i wanted to try!"
It could be that he likes you, but does not have romantic feelings for you.
Or it could be that he just doesn't feel that you are right for each other ~ perhaps because you have different ideas on things.
(Eg ~ you thinking that parents should be involved and you breaking a date with him for a family thing.)
Or it could be that he thinks that you did not have strong feelings for him and he wanted to end the relationship before he got badly hurt.
right now, i dont know what to think. I feel like i did not know what i had until i lost it. i want to let him know that i would like to try again..but my friends and sister tell me that i should move on.
Maybe you are right.
Your friends and sister weren't dating him.
Plus, almost no one likes him. they say that he is very ...well, i dont know what the word is but he never smiles to strangers. haha...thats just the opposite of me! some people even say that i am too much for him. i dont think so. they say i am too smart and sweet for him and that i deserve some one better!OF COURSE! They are my friends and want to make me smile...that is why i do not know what to do....
People don't like him ?
Is he not a good, decent individual?
They don't like hom because he is shy and doesn't smile at strangers?
Personally, I don't think that this is a valid reason for disliking someone ~ not unless he is actually rude or unkind to people as well.
Do you think he loves me? was he just playing with me?
I cannot know whether or not he loves you, but he certainly seems to have given that impression.
Playing with you?
What bad things did he do?
I think that it is possible that he thought that you were playing with him.
The big mystery here concerns the photo of the girl on Facebook.
If she is special to him, and there was something going on between them, then, yes, there may have been something wrong with your relationship, but if there is a reasonable explanation for the photo, then it may be that this relationship has ended for no good reason.
Have you found out the truth about this?
Have an honest conversation with him.
He said that he didn't want to break up.
Tell him the truth ~ that you didn't want to, either, but that you do need an explanation, I think, for that photograph.
Good luck
