Well,I`ll sum up the whole thing.My ex and I broke up 5 weeks ago.On the 18th February,we should have celebrated our 1 year anniversary.We`ve had a rough time around Christmas and an argument,but we managed to get back together on New Year`s.Basically,he claimed that I give more attention to my friends[ especially and old friend of mine,who is my best boy- friend] than i give to him,because I talk really nice about them and such.I have a special way of talking,that I make events look bigger than they are and very significant,even if,they don`t mean that much.But,the thing is that I say even prettier things about him,when I speak with others.
Anyway,a week after New Year`s,he texted me saying things were over between us[that week was hectic at school and we didn`t get to see each other that much]I called him and he seemed pleased that we managed to say the things that bother us.Somehow,I thought things would get better.The next day,we met,I started crying [thing which I regret so bad] and that was it.I sent a few emails,and we had another argument a week after.He insisted on the fact that he really wanted a complete relationship,in which he was the first person I`d go to instead of my girlfriends,that he wanted to feel free to open his heart in front of me without having second thoughts,like what is she going to thing after this,or will she still like me.But he didn`t do that because I didn`t start confessing first.So,he assumed I didn`t trust him enough.He said that I`d be okay without him,that he`d go to college and I`d forget and heal.Also,he replied that he was happy because he didn`t receive affection,feelings,so he didn`t have to give back.that he is an insensitive person and if he knew that by leaving meant hurting me,he wouldn`t have fallen in love with me.
Furthermore,he has exams this year and has a lot to learn so he can get into med school.So,more stress!
Since then,we haven`t spoken,excepting a few comments on facebook.
I`m confused because I don`t know what he is thinking,what he is feeling anymore. I suppose he wants to let me recover by disappearing completely.
I`ve started wearing a pretty mask in front of everyone for 3 weeks,and it feels better,I guess.
