I am sorry to hear this -- eight years is a long time.
The only thing I can suggest is: Is there any way to "cool it" for several weeks, in terms of emotional turmoil?
You can't just turn off your feelings, of course, but would it be possible to sort of back off a bit (try to ignore it when you feel your partner is distant, for example), get through the holidays, and try to focus on the positive aspects of the season?
I guess you could call it "conscious denial" or "putting on a happy face" -- very, very difficult, but it might be a way to put the sensitive issues and feelings on the back burner and give yourselves some space from all the turmoil.
Just an idea...
