I'm really sorry to hear this. I think that you need to see your family and children.
However, if you really can't, could you phone them more, or send letters or e-mails, etc ~ anything to strengthen the ties and stop you feeling so alone?
Could any of your friends or relatives visit you?
Remember, you can always share you concerns on here!
If you are feeling depressed, then perhaps you should see your doctor, or a counsellor.
At the moment, you are in pain ~ you are grieving ~ but this extreme sorrow will gradually pass.
Time heals ~ or at least it allows you to cope better.
Could you get to know some people where you are living?
Are there clubs, or night-classes, or something?
Have you joined anything that can be joined ~ eg the library?
Try to get out and meet people ~ even if it's only at the shops.
You can't just stay in getting more and more lonely.
I'm not suggesting bars, or the dating scene, but perhaps something life-enhancing, like adult education classes, or sport. Do you swim or play any team games?
I can certainly understand that you may want to 'close off' while you are 'grieving', but don't let it last too long.
Take care!
