When I read your first post you said he listens.....Listens? Wow a guy that listens is very rare. It sounds like you have expectations of some kind that you don't see in your relationship. Sometimes our unhappiness with what we have whether it be a relationship or a job is made worse by mild depression. We are not able to see that depression may be causing the unhappiness with our life because the two are so entertwined. It is hard to say which came first. If you are looking to your friend to somehow give you the answer to what is missing, perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Try evaluating him for what he gives you and not what he does not give you. No relationship is perfect. Many relationships have the intense passion of burning love and lack the simple pleasure of companionship. Since you seem to be unhappy whether you are with him or without him, perhaps the answers lie within yourself. They say that when we can be content to be with ourselves then we can be more content with someone else. He obviously cares but perhaps he wants the decision to be yours and does not want to pressure you. His question about what kind of a friend he would be sounds like someone wants to know exactly what you mean by friends. If you remain platonic for a while, perhaps you will be able to evaluate the relationship without the pressures of intimacy. Intimacy always clouds the issues and makes it hard to determine if you really love someone for the right reasons. Both of the books that PDM mentioned would be extremely helpful.
