I think that this girl wants to feel again the thrill of falling in love. She is not sure that this is possible with you & she is not sure if she wants it to happen with someone else ~ because she loves you.
Three and a half years is quite a long time & that early glow has maybe worn off. Can it return? I say, yes, it might be possible, but that doesn't mean that it will.
I think that your ages might be relevant, too. People change.
Now that the break has happened, I feel that she would want to be absolutely sure that you are the one she wants, before she returns to you. She says that loves you but is not in love with you. That speaks volumes.
She says that you don't look at her as you used to ~ that speaks volumes, too.
She wants you to chase her, but wants you to give her space ~ that means that she is confused & unsure.
She wants what you used to have ~ not what you recently had.
Can you get that back between you ~ or does she (and you) have to find it elsewhere?
Maybe, if this is something that could be long-term & serious, you should consider relationship counselling.
I would also recommend that you each read some books on the differences between the male & female mind (something like the Venus & Mars books) as this can affect the way relationships work themselves out.
When people are in love, it literally shows in their eyes ~ their pupils dilate when they look at each other.
Good luck!
