I apologize in advance for the length of this message. But I need help. I hope in giving as much detail in possible somebody out there can help me.
My g/f and I had been dating for 3 1/2 years. Everything had been going great. We were both inlove. We both wanted to get engaged and then eventually marry. I even gaver her a promoise ring on her birthday March 30th, and promise to someday marry her once I could get the money for an engagement ring. It brought her to tears. She seemed very happy at that moment.
My girlfriend attends college, and goes from 8am-3pm. I work nights and work 3-11pm. So during the work week, we dont' see eachother. Only talk over the phone. Over the last couple of months I neglected her over the phone. I'd talk to her, but I'd be playing poker with a buddy of mine on break. She had said how she missed how I used to talk to her my whole break. But being an ignorant and selfish man, I pretty much ignored what she said. Instead responding "but I can talk to you and play poker at the same time" Of course this wasn't true. I wanted to play poker with my buddy...I took her for granted. I stopped showing her affection that every woman needs to be shown every day. Because I became lazy, selfish, and I took the love, that I thought we'd have forever for granted. Before I made this mistake. I always paid attention. I always showed her love and affection. Again we were very much in love. Or at least I was, and that's what she told me too. This is where I figure it started, about 2-3 months of not paying attention to her 5 days a week.
About 2 weeks ago on a monday she called me, and said she need a break. I told her "ok, take all the time you need. I'll be here waiting for you." I tried to respect her request. Not but 20 min. later she send me a couple of texts that said "Chase me" "You love me don't you. Then Chase me." I called her immediately Monday night. I thought that's what she wanted me to do. She told me though again that she needed a break for the week. And she promised she'd be back into my arms. So I respected her decision and said ok, and let her go for the night.
That night I wrote her an email, telling her how much I loved her, and whatever was wrong I was there for her.
Tuesday I got a call from her. She let me know what was going on. She was talking to another guy. As far as I know only a couple of days, and he wowed her enough to make her doubt, and question our relationship. The guy attends the same college as her. I told her she had to decide on her own what she wanted, me or this other guy. I thought I was doing the right thing in letting her make a decision like this on her own. She came to my break later that night and said she was going to stop talking to him. She didn't know what she was thinking. Kiss goodnight, Tuesday seemed to end much better.
Wednesday rolls around. I try calling her on her cell. She answers, but says she needs to go, she has things to get. I was a little suspicious of course. So I call her a couple of times throughout the night, with no answer. Finally I get off work. And She is at my house waiting for me. I find out she was at walmart, where the guy works. She was talking to him for about 2 hours. I tell her she can't keep doing this she has to stop talking to him if she wanted to stay with me. I was being controlling I know, but I think under this circumstance, I still was in the right doing so. She says again she's done talking to him. She even shows me the text she sent him canceling their lunch plans the next day. That night she had to pack for competiton. She was going to be away for 3 days. I agreed to leave her be for the next 3 days, and let her have her space. Once again, the night seemed to end better. Everything was thought to be ok.
Thursday night after thinking about this all day at work. I can't take it anymore. I call her asking her hows she doing. She says "I thought you were going to give me my space while I was away, I still need to make a decision." I said "Make a decision, I thought the decision was made you were going to stay with me, and quit talking to this guy." She said she had to go, and she'd call me later, she had to focus on competition. I agreed and said goodbye. I of course couldn't get this off my mind. So I called her back about 2 hours later. I cried and begged her on the phone. I tried telling her of how much we've had together. How much I loved her. And how much I needed her. I realize now how selfish this was, and I should have just given her, her space. I eventually stop blubbering like a baby and said "it's ok, I'm sorry I called you. You need to focus on competition and get some sleep." I let her go for the night.
I don't talk to her friday. And I don't talk to her saturday untill she arives at my house, back from competition. I had two days of not talking to her. So I wrote her a 6 page letter. And wrote her a poem. For almost an hour she seemed as though she didn't even want to talk about it. She was done trying with me. But again I begged, I cried like a baby, and said please just give us one more chance. She agreed to try and work it out...The rest of the weekend I try to show her as much affection as I possibly can. I take her out to a movie. I buy her roses, leaving them in her car for her to find. With nice little notes attatched to them. I try to fix where I knew I messed up.
The next Monday rolls around. As of today, that was 4 days ago. She meets me at work on break. She tells me she has to break it off with me. She loves me, but she's not inlove with me, and She doesn't want to lead me on. She says she doesn't know when it happend, but she just doesn't feel the same anymore. She is crying this whole time. I know she cared. She knew it was hurting me, she was showing compassion. We say our final goodbyes. I say "I will always love you" She says "I will always love you" that is it.
Immediately I get on the net looking up how to get my ex-back. I read I need to let her think I am happy, and I need to let her think I'm moving on, then she will realize what she had. So I take pictures of us off "Myspace" because I know she'll see them not there eventually. I send a few message to a chick I know will respond. And those of you who don't know the myspace website, When You post a message or a comment on "myspace". The entire world can view it. So basicly I try to make her jelous, and show her I'm moving on. But in hopes of getting her back.
A couple of days, wednesday of this week. later she calls me asking about some problem with her laptop. I tell her I'll have to take a look at it. Giving her the option of stoping by my house, to see me in person. She says ok thanks, she is supposed to stop by this weekend at somepoint...
I've spoken to her since only through Instant messenger. I told her I'd like to atleast be friends. She says she'd like that too. We make some small talk, then she says. "Are you going to the wedding?" (Our friends are getting married) I said "Yeah" She says "I don't know if I'm going because I don't have anybody to go with." I, still trying to play hard to get say "Well go with your mother and brother." I think this upset her because she says "I have to go." She changes her instant message name to "Now I'm all alone."
I texted her today, Friday, 4 days later. And I say "are you going to bring your computer by tomorrow so I can take a look at it?" She says "No not tomorrow I have plans with Cory"(The other guy) I think that she finally saw what I did on "myspace" and it made her upset, rather then jelous.
As of today it's been only 2 weeks since our 3 1/2 year relationship took a turn for the worst. And only a few days since we offically broke up. Today is May 11th as I write this.
I want this girl back with all my heart. I know that she fell for this guy, because he showed her affection that I didn't. At a time that we barely saw eachother. I don't blame her, I blame myself. I know that at one point she loved me too. And I do believe she at least still has feelings for me. During this entire scenario, she's told me "I miss the way you used to look at me" and "He looks at me the way you used to" My question is, what do I do. I've obviously tried several things to get her back. But all of them seem to back fire. I was either too clingy. Or I set her off. I need advice from real people. Not the internet. I need your help please. Do I still have a chance with her. Or have I already screwed it up so many times I don't have a chance. Do I just let her be, and hope that she'll come back. Do I stay her friend and try to slowly win her heart back. Or do I sit down and talk to her, and ask her back once again. I thank everybody who has taken the time to read this, and I thank everybody in advance to responds. I hope that the story wasn't too choppy. Please help me get the woman I love with all of my heart.
