I'm jealous and it's killing me!Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I am a 19 year old male. I have been dating my current girlfriend for about 7 months. And i have a huge problem with jealousy. if she goes anywhere i get jealous, if she talks to anyone i get jealous. and i dont want it to get in the way of our relatinship. she dosnt deserve it, because i know she can be trusted. my last girlfriend (who i dated for about 2 and a half years) started this issue. i couldnt trust her, and im about 90% sure she cheated on me. i also have a friend (male) who has either tried to take a girlfriend of mine, or has fooled around with the girl i was dating. so my trust in people has been weakened. i dont like the problems this causes in my current relatinship though. i will do stupid things to prevoke it. and its like i dont even want to know certain things, yet i ask anyways. for example, i will ask about sexual experiences with her ex's. and when i find out something it hurts me. i guess i'd rather know than always wonder what really happened. cause usually what i wonder is much worse than what really happened. i wish that i didnt get worked up like this. because not only does it hurt our relatinship, but it also really hurts me inside. is there anything i can do to get past jealousy? i am desperate. i want to change so bad, i just need the right help.
i hope that you can help me. i am very desprate.
Jealousy comes from insecurity about the relationship. The more confident in the relationship, the less jealousy there will be. The best way is to repeat to yourself, "I have no need to worry. She loves me". Every time you feel this sort of stress, talk yourself out of it, remind yourself that she's with you not with anyone else, and she's with you for a reason - she cares about you. You trust her, let that trust carry you through by having faith that when she talks with another guy that it's innocent and you are more important than him.
The only way past this is to calm yourself down. Which, fortunately, you can do.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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