I'm jealous and it's killing me!
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
I am a 19 year old male. I have been dating my current girlfriend for about 7 months. And i have a huge problem with jealousy. if she goes anywhere i get jealous, if she talks to anyone i get jealous. and i dont want it to get in the way of our relatinship. she dosnt deserve it, because i know she can be trusted. my last girlfriend (who i dated for about 2 and a half years) started this issue. i couldnt trust her, and im about 90% sure she cheated on me. i also have a friend (male) who has either tried to take a girlfriend of mine, or has fooled around with the girl i was dating. so my trust in people has been weakened. i dont like the problems this causes in my current relatinship though. i will do stupid things to prevoke it. and its like i dont even want to know certain things, yet i ask anyways. for example, i will ask about sexual experiences with her ex's. and when i find out something it hurts me. i guess i'd rather know than always wonder what really happened. cause usually what i wonder is much worse than what really happened. i wish that i didnt get worked up like this. because not only does it hurt our relatinship, but it also really hurts me inside. is there anything i can do to get past jealousy? i am desperate. i want to change so bad, i just need the right help.
i hope that you can help me. i am very desprate.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
i've experienced the same situation before. everytime my boyfriend mentions or talk about his girlfriends /ex-girlfriend, my mood would change instantly. i would start imagining all kinds of things. i would feel really jealous and start crying. i would start hating all his female friends. i feel they are out to steal him from me by grabbing his attention.
all you should do is to think of how loyal your girlfriend is to you in real fact. how innocent she is. then you would realise that you are really being unfair by feeling jealous or thinking bad about her. everytime i feel the green-eye monster approaching, i would just stop an recall the moment when he looked into my eyes and said he love me. those innocent eyes would just erase all the jealousy i feel. i know i can trust him.
try it. all the best!
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