She's Very Needy and Clingy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
me and my girlfriend are going steady for abt 5 years. thing is, when we started our thing she was somewhat a difrent person than what she's now. she had a strong personality, a voice of her own, very reserved and a very strong person.

but in abt 2 years in the relationship, she started to change. she became very moody, dependent,tantrum throwing sort of a person and started depending on me for every small matters. i felt a bit suffocated and told her so. this resulted in many a crisis situations. since im long way into the relationship and since i have a broken relation at my back, i dont want to break up or something. but i would definitely like her to change.

then , tho we share physical closeness, we never had sex. she has always been a bit reluctant in sexual matters all the time. of late she's goin thru a phase like wanting me when im not near and not wanting me when im physically close to her. this is a great stress for me.

third, her whole world moves round only me, which makes her possesive,jealous and at times suspecting. this makes me feel very suffocated and i cant tell her this categorically as it'd create a lot of crying episodes which i hate.
she keeps on shouting at me for very small or aparently no reasons, which i accept without getting angry most of the time. yet she keeps on saying that she loves me and shows it in all the ways too.

i sometimes feel i m losing out my identity while adjusting with her.
please tell me what i should do to make the relation better .i feel very afraid if would kill the relationship one day if i go on like this. Advice
Most definitely this is a relationship on a crash course unless she gets a handle on things. She needs a life of her own. A relationship is about two independent people who choose to be together, not about a leech. She has turned into a leech.

Encourage her strongly to develop new friends, new interests. Get her a job if she doesn't have one. Get her a therapist. Either she realizes what she is doing to this relationship or there won't be a relationship left to save. If she's shouting at you and not respecting you, you do not deserve that. She has to grow up.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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